Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Sanjaya, we hardly knew ya

The great American practical joke is over. Sanjaya Malakar has been voted off of AMERICAN IDOL. Not since last November has the VoteForTheWorst website had such a dark night. When they announced the bottom three and LaKisha was there I thought, ooooh, maybe I will see her go medieval on his skinny ass.

But a few thoughts as Sanjaya dries his tears and gets ready to hit the talk show circuit, start his own line of hair products, begin a series of plastic surgeries, and assume the role as the new King of Pop.

The judges selected him in the original auditions to go to Hollywood.

The judges selected him to advance past the Hollywood round, passing on a lot of terrific singers in the process.

Every year there seems to be one flyweight contestant in the top ten who somehow manages to survive long past his/her expiration date. Remember John (Sinatra before puberty) Stephens? And Carmen (Simon had to be porking her) Rasmussen?

Sanjaya is not stupid. He knew how to attract attention. So does the idiot who tries to ride a motorcycle over the Grand Canyon but still. If part of becoming a celebrity is making an impression Sanjaya could be the next Madonna. (Actually, he could be the next Madonna anyway). Credit where credit is due. If you see Hillary Clinton start to sport a pony-hawk you’ll know why.

Finally, how symbolic was that ending? He's voted off and then cut off right in the middle of his swan song. The Gods of Fame giveth and taketh away.

And now we can finally turn our attention to the viable candidates – the ones with the legitimately good voices and all-American personalities -- and realize, Jesus, they’re boring.

21 comments:

Seymour said...

Sanjaya is gone.
I may have to rethink my atheism.

Marilee said...

We can't believe that you didn't hear how Sanjaya altered the words (we are serious, he really did this...)

"Let's give them something to talk about, other than hair"

WOW

Blarneyman said...

The only thing Simon wants to pork is Ryan. Simon's as camp as Christmas.

Shame about Sanjaya. He should have won, but then it doesn't matter who wins this show anymore.

IQCrash said...

I, for one, am going to miss her.

Stay strong, Sanjaya.

Tom Quigley said...

Sanjayit ain't so!!!!....

Tickets go on sale at 8:00 am Saturday at Ripley's Believe It or Not Museum in Hollywood where he'll become a part of their permanent collection....

Anonymous said...

So what if they cut off his swan song. Isn't there an irony that the song we get to hear again is the worst one of the week? Isn't it delicious that the voted-off artist gets finish with the song that got them canned?

nadia* said...

Agreed. The phrase "American Idol scandal" just makes my eyes roll back in my head. Every season.

And I'll miss Sanjaya's pretty hair. I admit it.

Anonymous said...

Ok, Sanjaya isn't a very good singer. But there's no denying that he's a PERFORMER. He knows how to entertain an audience and keep their attention-that's his talent. I'm sorry, but he is COOL. For some reason, I don't think we've seen the last of Sanjaya-he just won't be a singer. At least I hope not.

Will Teullive said...

Nobody on that show was worse than William Hung and he released at least three CDs. All "bloody dreadful" as Simon might say.

We haven't heard the last of Sanjaya... his Christmas CD will drop right after Halloween.

wavydavy69 said...

He should have won, but then it doesn't matter who wins this show anymore.

When the hell did it EVER matter who wins this piece of crap?

Anonymous said...

Damn, I lost the office pool. So why was it this week was the turning point when all along he's been terrible? Is it because all of the OTHER really bad people are gone?

Blarneyman said...

Kelly Clarkson may disagree with you, wavydavy69.

Tom Quigley said...

Boy, it didn't take him long to get another job... I just called my bank to straighten out a problem with my account and got "Good afternoon, this is the almost American Idol -- How can I help you?"....

benson said...

I'm surprised he didn't ask if you wanted fries with that.

Jason said...

I'm not generally a poster, but did anyone else laugh when Martina McBride's daughter, when asked about a favorite, said that all the singers were great. And Ryan responded with "Thank you, Paula."

Classic.

Mike Barer said...

So Sanjaya goes back to Federal Way, Down the road here, we have Brandi Carlile from here in Maple Valley.

Mary Stella said...

Here on the East Coast, we heard the entire Sanjaya swan song. Or should that be Swanjaya? I admit that I laughed when he changed the lyrics to comment about his hair.

I am flush with victory after correctly predicting the bottom three and Sanjaya's ouster. Rocketed me into a tie for third place in the pool. *g*

I applauded Melinda for opting to not answer Ryan when he asked which group he thought was safe. That's a lousy position to put her in, especially when she has to tour with all of them for the next several months.

Ken, your recap after the performances was the funniest one I've ever read. I bow to your brilliance.

Ian said...

Our long national nightmare, at last, is at an end.

Karen Scott said...

Oh thank the lord for that. That guy sucked great big hairy donkey balls.

Seymour said...

"Is it because all of the OTHER really bad people are gone?"

That can't be it. Nosferatu and Chris are still there.

Mike McCann said...

Now comes the big question -- if someone at one of the networks came to you and David and said, "We think Sanjaya has IT. We'd like you to develop a sitcom built around him." Would you take the gig?