Sunday, January 31, 2010

Do I Know how to read women, or what???

A few years ago I went to see a rather unusual play called TAMARA. The theater is actually a mansion and the audience follows around the various cast members as they perform their scenes simultaneously in different rooms. The idea is to attend with a few people and each person follows someone else. Then at intermission you get together and catch everybody up. I know. It’s a lot of work. And the story is a complicated mess. But it’s an experience and they serve chocolate covered strawberries at intermission.

So I’m following the cute little chambermaid (me and about nineteen other guys). In one scene she goes up to her room to get ready for a date. We follow her and stand against the walls.

She turns to me and starts talking to herself, excited about this upcoming rendezvous. Bad writing but that’s not the point. She’s imagining being in his strong embrace and how she’ll melt in his arms. And all the while she’s looking directly into my eyes.

The vibe is clear. This chick likes me. The suggestive dialogue, her bedroom eyes locked onto mine. There’s no doubt. For whatever reason I turn her on. I had just had a pilot not picked up and was feeling somewhat inadequate so to have this smoking hot girl pick me out of a room full of men really boosted my bruised ego. The hell with CBS! I was a stud!

So I start making eyes back at her, letting her know the Fonz has received the message.

And then I realized…

I’m standing in front of a mirror. She wasn’t looking at me. She was looking through me. She was just playing the scene as if I weren’t even there. Talk about major shrinkage.

For the rest of the night I followed the Fascist Colonel.

12 comments:

rob! said...

This sort of sounds like a off-Broadway version of Clue.

Jeff said...

Damn. I thought we were going to get another Margaret Colin encounter.

misty said...

I went to see that! At the old American Legion post on Highland Avenue! Audience members got "papers" and had to go through a checkpoint of sorts to get admitted. The fascist guy gave me a leering look. Creeped 18 year old me out.

wv: aillog-the sickly younger brother of Green Lantern Kilowog

Cap'n Bob Napier said...

I'm sure you had it pegged right at first, Ken.

Ref said...

WV: SPLONT

The sound of Ken's ego hitting the floor.

Wayne from Maine said...

ROFLMAO!!!!

Todd said...

A Friday Question:

Ken, I'm sure you've received a packet in the mail recently concerning a "Notice of Settlement of TV Writers Age Discrimination Cases". It's a class action suit where, apparently, quite a few major studios and agencies have agreed to pay $70M to writers over 40 for alleged age discrimination, and I'm wondering:

a. What's your take on this? I joined the WGA in 1988 and have never seen anything like it.

b. Are you going to participate?

Just thought I'd get the opinion of somebody who's "seen it all".

Thanks,

Todd

Jake said...

So, when you said you were following the Fascist Colonel around, you were really talking about kicking Mel Gibson's ass, right?

Rodney said...

Yeah I'd like to know about that settlement as well-apparently it also involves writers over 40 who have work registered with the WGA-that would be me. Anything anyone has further on this would be welcome.

AlaskaRay said...

Answer: or what! Glad to see you haven't lost your touch.

Ray

WV: samigel - the name of Golum and Sam's first born.

katherine. said...

I enjoyed TAMARA very much...it was quirky and fun. We went with a group of eight or so...one of my friends was on crutches at the time...he didn't have such a great time.

misty said...

I remember at the end of the show I went to, one of the characters runs out of the double doors; a little girl in the audience tried to run after him, not realizing the whole following thing was done. I kinda wonder what would have happened if her mom didn't catch her in time...

wv: ruggi- a Snuggie made out of shag carpeting