Hello from New York. It’s time once again for the Summer Movie Preview, a look at all the explosions, sequels, prequels, and spinoffs Hollywood will be offering to get your last entertainment dollar.
SALT – Action adventure developed for Tom Cruise now starring Angelina Jolie because they wanted someone more masculine.
ROBIN HOOD – Russell Crowe adding extra dimension to the legendary character. For the first time ever Robin Hood sleeps with all of Maid Marion’s friends and is hostile to hotel employees.
PRINCE OF PERSIA -- Jerry Bruckheimer turns another video game into a movie. Coming this holiday season from Jerry: FREE CELL in 3D.
DINNER FOR SCHMUCKS – Taken from a very funny French film, LE DINER DE CONS, it stars Steve Carrell and Paul Rudd. The comedy is supposed to be very rough. So far, what’s not to love?
MACGRUBER – Saturday Night Live sketch that always felt like it was 90 minutes long now actually is.
SOLITARY MAN – Michael Douglas juggling various relationships. Unfortunately, Michael’s real life drama seems more interesting than the movie.
SEX AND THE CITY 2 – The first of a thousand sequels this summer. This time Manhattan’s adorable sluts head off for ribald adventures in the party capital of the world – the Middle East. SEX AND THE SUNI.
SHREK FOREVER AFTER – What difference does it make? It’s all about the opening weekend and selling DVD’s.
IRON MAN 2 – Not that they’re stretching things just to pop out a sequel but Iron Man faces his biggest challenge – an evil genius with a can opener.
MOTHER AND CHILD – Drama exploring mother/daughter dynamics, zzzzzzzzz. Hot sex scene between Naomi Watts and Samuel L. Jackson! I don't know if he plays the "evil" man in this or the "righteous" man but he sure plays the "lucky" man.
GET HIM TO THE GREEK – Reprise of the whacko English rock star from FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL. So not a sequel but a spinoff. Jonah Hill must escort him from London to LA. And do every drug joke imaginable before they get there. They achieve their goal by Omaha.
A-TEAM – B-movie.
THE TWILIGHT SAGA: ECLIPSE – Another Twilight movie? How many is that in the past year? Five? Six? It’s the Octomom of franchises.
THE KARATE KID – Well this one needed to be remade. They left out two kicks.
TOY STORY 3 – Yes, another sequel but this is from Pixar so expect it to be funny, fresh, and original. And it gives Don Rickles some work.
Part 2 2morrow.