Sunday, January 02, 2011

Leftover Holiday Tweets


In case you're one of the 7 billion people who don't follow me on Twitter, this is the crap I've been tweeting this weekend: 

DEC 31

Thank God the production people from SPIDERMAN: THE MUSICAL weren't in charge of the giant ball dropping. Thousands would have been killed.

Who needs to go to a big New Years Eve party when I have all my close Facebook friends right here with me on the computer?


Just so there's no confusion, let's put Snooki in the big ball now so she'll be in place ready to go next New Year's Eve.

My grandmother used to say, "New Year's Eve is for amateurs!" At least I think that's what she said. She really slurred.

All 2010 calendars for 80% off at Walmart! Today only!

JAN 1

How many folks from Buffalo just saw the Rose Parade and already have the U-Haul packed for LA? It rains here and we have no NFL team.

Got Rose Bowl on mute. Even Brent Musberger's closed captions are boring and insipid.

Happy birthday to every racehorse. What an AMAZING coincidence!!

Watched the 3 Stooges marathon. Every short looked like the trailer to LITTLE FOCKERS.

My New Year's Resolution: Not to Tweet and leave Facebook comments every ten minutes. Aw shit.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ken, I'm from Buffalo and we have no NFL team here either.

Happy New Year!

John said...

My guess is ABC affiliates across the nation were just thrilled to be running infomercials New Year's afternoon while Disney was airing the Rose Bowl on ESPN. Even if Brent "Oh, there are only eight seconds left?" Mussberger was doing the play-by-play. And they'll be even more thrilled nine days from now when they don't have the BCS national championship game, either.

New York really should have one ball to drop from the Times tower on New Year's while Snooki's in another ball 300 feet below, on one of the Times Square station subway tracks, so the trains could play bumper cars with her all the way to the Bronx or Brooklyn. Just imagine the ratings MTV could get for that.

Having DeNiro, Stiller and Streisand dress up as Moe, Larry and Curly would have been more entertaining than "Little Fockers". Especially seeing Babs with a shaved head singing "The Alphabet Song". No one could put heart into "B-A Ba, B-E Be..." like she could.

Cap'n Bob Napier said...

I watched a lot of that Stooges marathon. AMC ought to be flogged for the frequent commercial breaks, and for the same six commercials aired over and over ad nauseum.

Gary said...

We don't have an NFL team in Seattle either, and yet at 6-9, they're playing for the NFC West "title" this evening...ironically, they're playing against the LA Rams of St. Louis. When Pete Carroll came to town, he should have brought his USC team with him. It would have eliminated several years of rebuilding. But I guess he couldn't do that since the NFL has a salary cap and USC doesn't.

To the Big 10 officiating crew who worked the Music City Bowl w/out calling a single penalty for excessive celebration, in spite of all the dancing and gestures after TDs, I salute you. And to the Big 10 crew who jobbed Kansas State in the Pinstripe Bowl at Yankee Stadium, I've got a Bronx cheer for you - you were almost as good as the Big 10 teams record during this bowl season.

Rory L. Aronsky said...

New York really should have one ball to drop from the Times tower on New Year's while Snooki's in another ball 300 feet below, on one of the Times Square station subway tracks, so the trains could play bumper cars with her all the way to the Bronx or Brooklyn. Just imagine the ratings MTV could get for that.

I would not only watch that, I'd buy the "#1 Subway Fan" t-shirt.

VP81955 said...

John said...

My guess is ABC affiliates across the nation were just thrilled to be running infomercials New Year's afternoon while Disney was airing the Rose Bowl on ESPN. Even if Brent "Oh, there are only eight seconds left?" Musberger was doing the play-by-play. And they'll be even more thrilled nine days from now when they don't have the BCS national championship game, either.


I'm presuming Disney is thinking more about the ratings for its ABC owned-and-operated stations in the largest markets, where college football is relatively unimportant, as opposed to the affiliates, where it is. (It also probably doesn't have to share as much advertising revenue with local sources if the games are on ESPN rather than ABC.)

The only way it would change would be if Notre Dame, the only college football team ignorant New York fans care about, became a genuine national title contender again -- and with the demographic shifts to the Sun Belt, it's not happening. (Sorry, Regis.)

wv: "arosco" -- a singular Arbuckle.

Jaquandor said...

I'm from Buffalo, and I'll happily put up with snow for the even greater peace of mind that comes with being pretty confident that my city isn't someday going to fall off the mainland. Oh, and that driving to a suburb that's 15 minutes away actually takes 15 minutes nearly every day (barring accidents) and that every summer I don't have to wonder which of our suburbs is going to be consumed in the wildfires. Harumph!

(Oh, and our weather on Jan 1 this year? It was 50 and rainy!)

Les said...

A friend of mine is directing a production of Macbeth, and his actors have instituted a superstition that you can't say SPIDERMAN: THE MUSICAL inside the theater.