This year's Emmy nominations will be announced Thursday morning. Can you stand the suspense? Ratings for the show have been dwindling over the years. In an effort to stem that tide the Academy has wisely chosen Neil Patrick Harris to host. Remember a few years ago when they had a committee of reality show hosts do it? Neil will try to be better than Ryan Seacrest, the hilarious Jeff Probst, and Heidi Klum. I have a good feeling.
The Academy has also considered changing some of the categories, making them more relevant. Here are a few that I propose. The ATAS is welcome to use them. All I ask in return is a lifetime achievement award to be presented by Heidi Klum.
Best plausible sci-fi drama
Best implausible sci-fi drama
Best series that never aired on any network
Best series only on the air because it’s owned by the network
Best actor with plastic surgery
Best series that has changed timeslots so often you don’t even know it’s still on the air
Best series regular who got killed this season
Best series regular you wish would be killed next season
Best variety, musical or documentary that doesn’t have three pledge breaks in it
Best screener DVD from a show that never in a million years would get nominated
Best director of single-handheld-jilting-nausea-producing-camera show
Best director who can handle Mandy Patinkin
Best former sitcom ingénue who now plays someone’s mother
Best actress playing the thankless best friend
Best actress who always thought television was a comedown and is now lucky to be working
Best guest appearance by an actress just out of rehab
Best actress from a series in that gray area of not really a comedy or a drama
Best performance by an actor speaking nonsensical procedural gobbledygook
Best actor who replaced the original actor who was fired for testing poorly
Best actor getting by strictly on his looks
Best series that should have won instead of MAD MEN.
Best made-for-tv movie originally made for theatrical release but couldn’t get a distributor
Best reality show without Tom Bergeron
Best reality show where people don’t bathe (includes ‘American Idol’)
Best canceled series
Best half-hour comedy vagina jokes writer
Special Governors Award to the Golden Globes Announcement
As always, I'll be reviewing the Emmy Awards ceremony later this summer. Good luck to all the hopefuls.