Saturday, July 06, 2013

A mystery of the ages finally SOLVED!

I am not a master chef. And I'll admit -- some things in the kitchen baffle me. Like how does one slice a piece of cheese? I always thought this would be one of those secrets I'd be destined to go through life not knowing. But now, for the first time, like a great magic trick revealed, comes actual instructions on exactly how you slice a piece of cheese. And as if that weren't mind blowing enough, you also learn how to clean the cheese slicer.   Un-fucking-believable!   So submitted for your amazement -- how to slice a piece of cheese.  

24 comments:

Richard Y said...

Oh my - the things we learn in the internet.

emily said...

And...we finally know the answer to that ago-old question -- "Who cut the cheese?"

Mitchell Hundred said...

Man, I hope she reveals the method for operating a doorknob soon. It's getting super annoying just leaving all those doors wide open.

ODJennings said...

You can never assume when it comes to the American Public.

Decades ago I worked for a wholesale bakery in the midwest when we brought English Muffins to the local market for the first time. They sold well the first couple weeks, but then sales dropped to almost nothing, and we began to receive endless complaints.

It wasn't until we added a big orange sticker to every package that said "Toast Before Eating!" that sales began to slowly recover.

Richard Y said...

Remove Pizza from cardboard box before placing into oven. And don't forget to turn oven ON!!

Anonymous said...

My favorite how-to video is called "How to Fax to Sweden". Trust me, look it up. Then watch the guy's other videos.

An (is my actual name) said...

Yes, but after all that, what does one do with the slice of cheese???

Wendy M. Grossman said...

I have never understood what the problem is with just using a knife.

wg

Ane said...

This is what a "normal" cheese slicer looks like: http://no.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fil:Osthyvel_20050723_001.jpg

Invented by norwegians in 1925, used by all norwegians (who eat cheese) every day.

Seriously, my mum kept asking for one while on holiday in the US, and when in became appearant that she wouldn't be able to obtain one, she had no idea what to do. A knife carves way too thick slices for her taste.

Anonymous said...

What a cheesy post.

Anonymous said...

Educational!

Covarr said...

And if you don't want your slices to be absurdly thick, what do you do?

The correct answer is "hold the slicer at an angle", but this video seems to have left out that bit.

Cap'n Bob said...

They sell pre-sliced cheese for people like me, lazy bastards who don't own a cheese slicer.

Tom Quigley said...

The real trick to any slicing technique is how to stick the tip of your thumb back in place and stanch the flow of blood until you reach the emergency department...

Bob said...

Wait a minute: I need a cheese slicer and a block of cheese? I think I see why I've been having a problem with this.

Chip Keyes said...

All well and good, but it doesn't solve the problem of slicing Velveeta.

RareWaves said...

I wondered what that dang device was that's been in my kitchen drawer for all these years. Wow, thanks, Ken!

KevDog said...

It's closing in on a million views, so I think she gets the last laugh.

CSmith said...

My cheese slicer didn't come with a manual, so it's been sitting in the drawer for years now. I bet the cheese I bought back then is in worse shape.

Jim said...

Chip, everyone knows that you slice Velveeta with a piece of cotton thread pulled taut between your two index fingers.

Mitchell Hundred said...

What a cheesy post.

Aaaah...





Johnny Walker said...

I've watched the video about 40 times now. I think I've nearly got it.

Rebecca said...

We laugh, but someone's probably finding it useful.

I've always been concerned about the tag on my hair straightener that says do not use on your eyelashes with the matching red line thru it diagram. Did someone try to straighten their eye lashes, or is the company concerned that someone will try it & sue them?

Lou H. said...

These trivial articles and videos are produced by "content farms". At least one public company does business this way, generating a million articles a month. Ever wonder "How to Turn the TV on Without a Remote"? There's a web page telling you how.