Wednesday, July 24, 2013
“Oh, come on!” you’re saying. “Even in a town that boasts a coroner’s gift shop, no one would pay $80 for one cup of coffee.”
Well, they do. By appointment only.
And it gets better. What makes this coffee so special? Again, I swear to you this is true:
Who was the first person I wonder, who saw a steaming load of Luwak shit and thought, “Hey, I bet if we processed this we could make great coffee?” His friends must've thought he was crazy for sure. “Who would buy such a ridiculous thing?” And then one enterprising farmer caught an episode of REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS and said, “Eureka! We’re all going to be rich! We can charge $80 for what is essentially a FEAR FACTOR stunt!”
If this designer coffee catches on, pig farmers all over the world will be feeding their flock grapes hoping they’ll shit out a hearty Chablis. Or cola beans – COKE CAKA.
I will not be paying $80 for one cup of coffee no matter how good it is. I don’t care if this is Los Angeles and status and exclusivity are everything. I personally find it incredibly self-indulgent and downright irresponsible to spend more on coffee than Botox. Someone has to show a little common sense.
By Ken Levine at 6:00 AM