Monday, May 11, 2009

Comedy writers can be bad ass

In the summer of 1990 I was broadcasting for the Tidewater Tides, the AAA affiliate of the New York Mets. It was a Sunday afternoon game and I had to read a commercial for the Day’s Inn at Military Circle – “Home to the visiting teams of the International League”. I noted that our dreaded rivals, the Columbus Clippers (Yankees ) were coming to town next and said, “Why don’t you call them all at 5 a.m. and welcome them to Tidewater.” Now you have to bear in mind that no one listened to minor league radio broadcasts other than players’ wives.

Or so I thought.

The next afternoon I arrived at the park only to learn that the Clippers had been besieged with pre dawn wake up calls. Needless to say they were pissed.

I guiltily went down to their clubhouse and apologized to their manager, Rick Down. He was very gracious, said he had heard it on the air and thought it was pretty funny. He also felt this would stir up the team, I might have done him a favor. (It did. They won that night. So now I had pissed off both teams.) But Rick was very forgiving.

The Clippers’ trainer however, was not. He went ballistic when he saw me, calling me words that were too harsh even for DEADWOOD. And he vowed to get back at me when we were in Columbus the following weekend.

I calmly asked if he ever watched CHEERS. He said, “Yeah, why?” wondering why that was relevant to anything. I then asked if he ever caught some of the bar wars episodes between Cheers and Gary’s Old Towne tavern? Again, he said, “Yeah. So what?” “Well, I wrote those shows, motherfucker, “ I said, “Do you really want to get into a practical joke war with me?”

That was the last I heard of the trainer.

The moral is clear.

Do NOT fuck with comedy writers! EVER!

We may appear harmless but we can fill your office with sheep just for looking at us funny.


Anonymous said...

I must say that is the most splendidist story ever!!!!

Anonymous said...

sweet story.

Emmett Flatus said...

Ewe are some kinda writer.

Ewe betcha.

John said...

And Tidewater didn't come back from their next road trip to find sheep all over their infield?

Paul Yeager said...

Love it. I love the baseball stories with roadtrips and practical jokes. Its good to know that the jokes live on and not just in Bull Durham.

Joe said...

It is a poorly kept secret that all comedy writers -- especially the most milquetoast of the breed -- are seriously capable of inventive evil.

The Minstrel Boy said...

don't let the glasses fool ya
stand beside me when you measure my size
don't let false impression rule ya
you might come to realize

i been a wizard since my childhood
i've earned some respect for my art
i rule the spirits that live in the wildwood
every evening i talk to the stars
david bromberg "demon in disguise"

my post code is natism which refers to those of us who stand in awe of the statistical magic of nate silver

Mary Stella said...

Did you get a raise for proving that plenty of people listened to your broadcasts?

wv=scurt -- A skirt that is short to the point of rudeness!

Michael Green said...

And don't forget some of the practical jokes on MASH!

rita said...

actually... i would have loved to find a picture included of sheep stuck on a boat.

Stefush said...

Oh man, I love sheep! Can you fill my apartment with sheep or pigs? Bonus points for dolphins.

My girlfriend is partial to goats also - a nice goat is nothing to sneeze at.

jim 7 said...

If you fill my office with sheep, EVERYONE will look at me funny.

Anonymous said...

Of course they can be bad ass, didn't you see that guy with the sunglasses the other day?

TVBlogster said...

I'm a Mets fan from way back, and Rick Down is indeed some kind of character. He's so baseball, he could have come right out of Central Casting.

But nobody messes with comedy writers. Nobody!


Anonymous said...

I'm sorry about what I said about your kids.

Would you come get these sheep out of my office?

Max Clarke said...

Maybe my favorite funny memory from the Bar Wars was the episode when Sam hired that Irish band to create some atmosphere for St Patrick's Day. Those songs were so bleak they were hilarious, "...we toss the bombs and still they come..."

Rory L. Aronsky said...

wv=scurt -- A skirt that is short to the point of rudeness!Sorry; no such thing. ;)

WV: merudi - What the planet Mercury would be called if it was a cross-dresser.

Barefoot Billy Aloha said...

I am in awe.

A. Buck Short said...

If we could only have gotten those writers from Hee Haw to stop f*cking with sheep.

growingupartists said...

Ever since the writer's strike, Levine. It's been apparent how much power you all have.


Anonymous said...

THAT was priceless! I perform stand up, but now and then I wear a T-shirt that says: "Don't Piss Off The Comedian...or you wind up in my act! "