Tuesday, January 24, 2006

UPN/WB we hadly knew ya...or watched ya

First off -- Happy Anniversary to my parents. 58 years on January 25th. There’s been some talk of divorce the last couple of days but I think they’re going to make it. I love you both and wish you many many more.

And speaking of marriages: UPN and the WB are merging.

1 + 1 now = 1

Thank God because here in LA maybe KCOP can go back to showing PERRY MASON reruns like did for thirty years (and got better numbers).

Not since Packard merged with Studebaker has there been anything this exciting. Both were out of the car business within a decade but still. (thanks to Mike McCann for that heads up.)

The name of this new network will be CW. Not great but better than WC which is the British nickname for toilet.

“See FRIDAY NIGHT SMACKDOWN followed by GILMORE GIRLS tonight on CW. “

It’s like combining the best of Taco Bell and Popeye’s menus.

Does this mean that GIRLFRIENDS will no longer be on THREE times a week?

What happens to UPN news? Do they sell the three police scanners?

Now what’ll their excuse be when shows get a ,01?

Will the UPN online store have a big closing sale on AMERICA’S TOP MODEL hot shorts with logo?

Garth Ancier is the Reggie Sanders of TV executives.

***

What this really means is….

…you no longer have to Tivo CUTS when WHAT I LIKE ABOUT YOU is on.

…Lil’ Kim has a harder time getting that sitcom.

…one less major buyer, fewer shows, fewer choices, fewer jobs. And no one’s getting fat ‘cept Mama Cass.

…if you have a midseason show about to premiere on the WB you are fucked.

…if you have a pilot at UPN you’re in trouble, if you have a pilot at the WB you’re fucked.

…the merger of BET and the Hallmark channel can not be far behind.

…there will not be a sequel to “Decade of the WB”, the DVD you can purchase with highlights from the network’s first ten years. (I hope it includes clips from SIMON and CLEGHORNE! and GREETINGS FROM TUCSON.)

…Hollywood can still keep a secret when it wants to.

…we’re getting closer to the day when one giant conglomeration controls the entire entertainment industry. Let’s hope Eisner doesn’t come out of retirement.

10 comments:

Shawn Bowers said...

I got on-line this morning and read this news and for some reason I thought it was a big joke. I don't know why, but the idea of shutting down both of them and starting another just seemed impossible to me. I guess I don't think big enough. I don't think CW enough, you could say.

Anybody figured out what the CW actually stands for yet? Cause I sure haven't.

VP19 said...

CW stands for CBS-Warner, I presume.

I can't say I'll miss either network all that much; I'm still a bit ticked off at the WB for ruining great animated programs such as "Animaniacs" and "Pinky & the Brain." On the other hand, at least the WB gave "Sabrina, the Teenage Witch" a home for a few seasons after ABC became obsessed with "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" and ditched much of its primetime schedule. (I will admit, however, that the WB "Sabrina" episodes were nowhere as charming as the ABC eps, and the final season, without the aunts, was dismal.)

Grubber said...

“See FRIDAY NIGHT SMACKDOWN followed by GILMORE GIRLS tonight on CW. “

I want to see the crossover episode.

rashad khan said...

Remember when I commented, a few entries back:

Ken: How do you fill TEN hours with nothing???
Me: I dunno, let’s ask the UPN.


I guess today's announcement was the UPN's way of answering that question.

Seriously, Ken, do you have ANY idea of which shows will survive the merger, and which won't?

Rob said...

As the bastard network that no respectable viewer will touch, I wonder if this is actually a boon to UPN. Shows like Veronica Mars and Everybody Hates Chris can get some legitimacy (maybe) if CW can get rid of every rapper-turned-actor project.

On the other hand, this could kill the WB. Never a great network, but one that has had many solid shows over the years. I worry they'll lose whatever identity they have in the merger.

rashad khan said...

"On the other hand, this could kill the WB. Never a great network, but one that has had many solid shows over the years. I worry they'll lose whatever identity they have in the merger."

From Broadcasting & Cable magazine:

Though neither UPN nor The WB have big ratings, the merger seemed to be a way for Time Warner, under pressure from investor Carl Icahn and in the midst of belt-tightening, to throw in the towel. Likewise, The Tribune Co. has been slashing budgets and personnel. Getting out from under the 22% ownership stake it has in The WB while still getting fresh programming from the new CW channel is a win-win proposition.

Therefore, the implication seems to be that if not for the merger w/ CBS Corp. and UPN, there was a very real chance of the WB folding entirely.

Uh, I hope no one minds that I shared that just now? Especially Ken (yikes)?

Frank Strovel III said...

Here's hoping everything works out with your parents. It's always the children who suffer.

MoviePen said...

"Hardly watched?" Not a Buffy fan, I take it.

I'm looking forward to the new network -- maybe it will be a stronger contender. Its established shows give it a little maturity, and it has enough youth to encourage daring and innovation (hopefully in the one-hour drama arena).

AdicaRoy said...

I'm worried. As a member of the generation raised on The WB, I am keeping my fingers crossed that they don't fire any of the writers. The audience may have been thirteen-year-old girls, but those shows cranked out some socially relevant plot lines with witty, intelligent dialogue.

http://www.myspace.com/adicaroy

Anonymous said...

Dear Dawn:

Can you please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please bring back UPN and The WB for the fall of 2008 please please please please please please please please please.