As another World Series begins it’s always fun to look back at the season and salute the idiotic injuries players and coaches suffer. My thanks to ESPN’s Jayson Stark for uncovering these.
Bizarre injuries are a baseball tradition as much as the seventh inning stretch. My all-time favorite belongs to Dodger outfielder, Pedro Guerrero. This is a man who was up on a drug charge and the defense pleaded he was too stupid to know what was going on and he won! In 1987 during the Whittier earthquake Pedro decided to evacuate his house. Most people, when caught in that unfortunate situation, retrieve precious family photos, insurance policies, passports, etc. Pedro wrenched his back hauling his priceless big screen TV out to the lawn. The defense rests.
Now for this year’s bonehead casualties:
Raul Ibanez of the Mariners was out for a week in May with a back injury sustained when he tried to get some sleep on the team plane.
This is why I never run: Milwaukee manager, Ned Yost was jogging in Wrigley Field and tripped over a patch of loose concrete. He broke his collarbone.
Somehow in June Washington reliever, Jesus Colome suffered an “abscess on his right buttock”. The team’s General Manager, Jim Bowden is quoted in the Washington Post as saying, “We pray for his buttocks and his family.”
Tampa Bay pitching coach, Jim Hickey hit a golf shot that missed the fairway, caromed off a curb and hit him the eyebrow, requiring surgery for a detached retina. No “Fore-eyes” jokes please.
Forget weapons. There should be an organization dedicated to the prevention of barbeques. They seem to account for a shocking number of baseball mishaps. Phillies centerfielder, Aaron Rowland missed a few games in the summer after “tweaking” his back while playing tag at a BBQ. Cub’s pitcher, Bobby Howry twisted his back carrying a gas grill across his patio. A dry run I’m sure in case he ever has to evacuate.
Meanwhile, Pirates pitcher, Ian Snell burned the tip of his index finger grilling chicken. “Let me just see if it’s done…AAAAAA!!!!”
Red Sox centerfielder, Coco Crisp (for you non-baseball fans, yes, that’s his real name) was struck in the knee by the Mariner Moose mobile. Apparently, the Mariner Moose was not looking where he was going. My guess is he was on a cellphone like every other driver.
And finally, there’s the Milton Bradley saga (again, for you non-baseball fans, I’m not making up these names). He got into an argument with an umpire and when his manager tried to break things up by flinging him to the ground he tore up his ACL. “Yer out!!…for a YEAR.”
Enjoy the World Series. And you might want to boil those hot dogs instead of grilling them.