Sunday, October 21, 2007

Don't cry for me, Ellen DeGeneres

America is divided again. This great nation is again in danger of collapse, ripped apart by another major issue affecting each one of us personally and deeply – Was Ellen DeGeneres to be applauded for crying on television over a little doggie being taken away from a family or is she just a nut? Many claim it was refreshing to see someone on television express genuine emotion. Others think it’s time she admitted herself to the drooling academy. So I ask you, my dear blog readers – as diverse and insane a cross-section of the population as one can find, what do you think?

Was Ellen right to cry over this?

Did the agency also confiscate the dog’s bowl?

Was it okay for New York Yankees radio announcer, Suzyn Waldman to break down and cry on a post game show after the Yankees choked in the playoffs (again!) or did it set women sportscasters back a hundred years?

Can the same agency that took away the doggie (“Iggie”) do the same to Britney Spears’ child?

Were we wrong to think when Ellen was with Ann Heche that she was the stable one?

Should this be a lesson to anyone who “re-gifts”?

Should this be a lesson to anyone who sublets?

Are there worse things in life than this?

Is Katie Couric firing her staff for not thinking of this first?

Will the little dog now get his own daytime show? “Dr. Iggie”

Should Ellen have shown more composure and professionalism and waited until November sweeps to have her meltdown?

Is the dog better off in the new family?

Wouldn't this have made for a great episode of FRASIER?

Or LASSIE?

Can't Ellen just buy the rescue agency?

If Juliet from The Fox Morning Show with Mike & Juliet did the same thing would anybody give a shit?

Do you even know who Juliet is?

And finally…will Ellen DeGeneres become the next Tammy Fay Baker?

32 comments:

Tooomz said...

I think she just got overly emotional. The agency she got the dog from is really overreacting to the situation though. Shouldn't the most important thing be that the dog had a good home?

The Crutnacker said...

If ever a non-profit needed a lesson in how NOT to handle a situation, they got it from this agency. The smart thing to do would have been to say, "Our interest is what's best for the dog. We believe Ellen shares this interest, so we'll work with the family she gave the dog to so that we can make sure they are the best home for the dog. Our adoption agreements are meant to protect the best interests of the adopted dog and should not be taken lightly."

My guess is that someone with a lot lower profile probably went through the same exact thing with this agency, and the agency was afraid that if they backed down, someone else would sue.

I think Ellen probably shouldn't have gone to her talk show to do it, but her emotions seemed more genuine than anything Oprah's produced in the past 20 years.

Brian said...

Ellen Degeneres has a TV show?

Jaded and Cynical said...

A celebrity sobbing over the disputed custody of someone else's pet?

The emotions may be genuine. But so is the laughter.

Ken, the blog's been better than ever lately.

Anonymous said...

The co-owner of the pet agency was on Fox and was asked why he just couldn't let the new family keep the dog. He said that that would have been the ideal solution if only the family had been willing to come to the agency and fill out the necessary forms. They refused to do so. He thinks that the arrogance of celebrities is rubbing off on anyone associated with them.

djtom said...

And what about....Naomi??

You get a virtual cookie if you get THAT reference.

VP81955 said...

Ken, a question: Was Larry Lucchino as full of himself when he worked with Baltimore and San Diego as he is now in Boston? (Sorry, Larry, but you are now the Evil Empire. Go Rockies!)

Dave Olden said...

I think most of you are aware, that in some cultures, they eat dogs.

Don't tell Iggy, though. He might break down, and it would so break my heart to see a dog upset, weeping for his life.

I am at this moment at a restaurant, and the site of the menu on the table...

-- Sorry i can't write anymore.... this is too hard...

PLT said...

But wait--there's more! Actually this is the second dog Ellen has auditioned from the same agency. She returned the first one after a week or so, both claiming creative differences.

It's a real dog opera. Ellen's PR person left an ominous voice mail telling the agency to do it Ellen's way or else.

And then you know about all the death threats from rabid Ellen fans after the agency made Ellen cry.

I'm waiting for the You Tube video from the Britney Spears admirer, who might just be an Ellen fan too......

Poor Iggy. The only adult on the scene....

Anonymous said...

Julia and Mike are still on the air?

Brian said...

So you reckon that you deserve a few death threats too, Levine. Brave man.


This one makes me laugh. I now have visions of assorted groups of little old ladies sitting together around the fireplace, each one trying to come up with more and more obscure clauses for anyone who wants one of their dogs. What do you reckon we can get those suckers to do next, Doris?

Poochie must have lobster at least once a week. Not to be extracted from the shell more than ten minutes before feed time. Poochie to have his bum wiped with egyptian cotton towels after his morning toilet. Poochie to receive personal visit to Father Christmas and his own stocking on Christmas morning. At least half the gifts to be non-edible. Owner to do a five minute streak immediately prior to adoption and go out commando at least once a month thereafter while caring for poochie. Could explain something about all those famous knickerless dog owners we see.

Don Montrey said...

I most DEFINITELY know who Juliet is!

Tim W. said...

Somewhat, but not really, off topic, it reminds me of the movie The Kingdom where Jennifer Garner cries when told of the death of an FBI agent. None of the men seem to even tear up, but Garner breaks into tears. This is a supposedly seasoned FBI agent. Then later on she looks away during footage of the bombing while her male colleagues barely react. For some reason, this bothered me quite a bit.

Anonymous said...

On one hand, I like that she took her doggie fight to the air in the interest of getting the unfairness settled one way or another, but on the other hand, I was creeped out by her crying. It's undignified for any tv personality to cry unless you're begging for money so your needy dog doesn't go without an air conditioned dog house they have no intentions of every stepping foot in!

Stacey

John said...

Don't be tough on Waldman, Ken. If you had to spend six months in a booth with John Sterling for three years in a row, you'd cry too.

As for Ellen, the latest stories about her "gifiting" other dogs given to her seem to make her out at best as the Harriet Tubman of the canine adoption world, except that Ellen does it after convincing people she plans to keep them herself (and instead of getting pass-along freebies, can't she just buy the pooches outright with her American Express card?)

Rory L. Aronsky said...

Not related to the topic, but to Ken.

My family and I were evacuated from Saugus and are now at the house of one of my dad's fellow teachers in Canyon Country. Before we left, we took important papers, our computer, some clothes and put it all in the trunk.

Myself, I took only two DVDs and one DVD set:

- Mary Poppins: 40th Anniversary Edition (my favorite film, though I kick myself for not also taking the new platinum edition of "The Jungle Book," as that's my favorite animated film)
- Arthur (autographed by Christopher Cross on the cover and on the inside)

And:

M*A*S*H: Medicine and Martinis Collection.

If anything happens, there's no way I'm living without my favorite show.

Kate Bacon said...

The next Tammy Fay? God no...there isn't enough mascara in this event to make that leap. Ellen would have to cry every show for the next two years to even match Tammy Fay's record, let alone surpass it.

Buttermilk Sky said...

It's not just the dog, it's the show she did from a hospital bed and the dancing -- my god, the dancing. By November sweeps she'll be in some kind of seclusion.

"Fargo North, Decoder" on "The Electric Company." Please forward my cookie, djtom.

Max Clarke said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cap'n Bob Napier said...

At least she didn't pass the dog along to Michael Vick.

Mr. Hollywood said...

The main thing is the dog has a good home. He did. Leave the dog there. Ellen should NOT have gone on the air crying over this. She should have handled it privately with the two wacko women who own the pet adoption place.
And Ellen's publicist, Kelly Bush, is aptly named to be her publicist! But she is her publicist and not the Gestapo. She had no business opening up her mouth and threatening the pet women.
Now it's time to move on. California is burning down, not to mention the whole country and every American, who continue to be screwed over each day by Bush, Cheney and the other DC scumbags.

Anonymous said...

I'm Iggy's therapist -- although he's not actually allowed on the couch. If you think Ellen is upset over this, Iggy has developed OCD and can't stop licking his balls. Or more correctly (thanks to the adoption agency) where his balls used to be. (They called it "being fixed." Iggy thinks of it as "being broken.") As a result of this trauma Iggy will require seven times several years of therapy.

Rory L. Aronsky said...

Got safely back to Saugus just now, back home, and I not only credit the firefighters who are continually battling these fires, but also having brought that M*A*S*H DVD set with me. It has powers, man. ;)

Pat said...

I lost a beloved little parrotlet today that we've had for 15 years, so I certainly understand grief over a pet. But good grief! Ellen had this dog for, what, two weeks? The women running the pet adoption place are probably the biggest PR morons in history, but what's the point of vetting people who want to adopt a dog if you're going to let them just pass it along to a stranger two weeks later? And never mind all the wildfires; Ellen was in the middle of a fundraising month for fighting breast cancer. Having a conniption fit over this dog resulted in two days of reruns, which meant two lost days of cancer fundraising. Ever heard of priorities, Ellen?

BTW, I'm amazed that it took 21 responses before someone found a way to drag George W. Bush into this. You're just not trying anymore, people.

Anonymous said...

Ellen's dog adoption didn't work out because of all the yapping, whimpering and whining. The dog just couldn't take listening to it anymore.
Wayne

TCinLA said...

rcbbaFor one thing, the woman's done this now nine times, and as a result of her "breakdown" (on a pre-recorded show, how frakking "real" is that I ask?) the people who do the rescuing are receiving death threats.

All she had to do was call the rescuers, say "it's not working out but I know someone you ought to check out," and likely all would have been well.

Sorry, all the people who think "poor Ellen" and curse the horrible animal people have their heads where the sun doesn't shine. But that's not really surprising, when you figure where most of them live and what business they're in.

15 years ago, I moved into a new place (following the breakup of a relationship), and there was a sweet little cat living outside. It was soon apparent he had once lived inside that place, and had been abandoned some time before. He was still a sweet little guy, and only the fact I had three others who had moved with me kept me from bringing him right inside and reinstalling him in his home. I decided I would get him a better home, so when the woman I was partnered in our independent production company told me her cat had died of old age, I tolk her I knew someone who'd love to live in her nice house in Cheviot Hills. I took him over there, he was really happy. Then I had business out of town and didn't come back over for three weeks. When I did, Little Guy was not there. I asked where he was and was told "it didn't work out so I took him to the pound." Since that had happened 2 weeks previously, it was clear he was dead and I felt like I had done it, bringing him there, to someone without the patience and ability to love that he needed while he returned to civilized society.

We never made the movie we were working on because the partnership ended right there. I don't do business with shitbirds when I don't have to. All she had to do was call (she had my number out of town) and I'd have been there the day I got back to take him and let him back into his home.

People want perfect pets (I don't know why, most people are the furthest thing from perfect themselves) and they think of them a some appurtenance to what they're wearing that day. So now, when I find an animal and rescue it, and I do that, I make damn sure that whoever it is knows they won't be just "handing it on" if things don't work out.

Personally, animals are superior to people - when was the last time an animal lied to you, cheated you, stole from you? - and they deserve the protection of people who do care, because most people don't have the brains to care. As Ellen has demonstrated.

Now I know why I always thought her comedy wasn't funny and she sucked on a personal level. She does!

Carla said...

...at least she didn't break into a song and dance routine.

jbryant said...

tcinla: I love my cats, but "animals are superior to people?" Actually, you may be right. After all, animals don't have any responsibilities beyond eating, sleeping and doing their "business" in a place that's easy to clean up. But I suspect the reason they don't lie, cheat or steal from us is because their brains can't process those concepts (although I'm pretty sure one dog will take another's bone in a pinch). At any rate, they don't choose to be "superior," they're just doing what comes naturally (aka instinct). But I absolutely agree with you that they deserve our protection from the stupid and abusive "shitbirds" among us.

You want a really superior life form, go with the amoeba. Not only do they eschew lying, cheating and stealing, they won't knock over your favorite vase. And if they bite the mailman, he'll never know.

Doug in Seattle said...

I don't know much about Ellen and her doggie issues (nor much care), but my eight-year old son and I are still greeting each other in the morning with "The Yankees have been eliminated from the playoffs!" It starts us both off with a smile.

Scooter said...

These questions and many others will be answered on the next episode of Soap...

capcom said...

The thing is, I don't think that her show is live. It's pre-recorded, isn't it? If so, she did not really have to air the blubbering. She could have come out, talked to the audience about how she might not be herself this show because of the doggie problem, and then started taping like a stable professional.

It all seemed very planned. And very creepy. Then when it backfired on her and her fans started the death threats, she freaks out and has to take some time off from the show to recover. Quite bizarre.

Samuel said...

So, why didn't she just say to that creepy agency "The dog ran away", or better "I was walking through chinatown and it got off the leash and that's the last I saw"... never mind.