Sunday, October 28, 2007

The Denver Boot

Congratulations to the Boston Red Sox who won the World Championship by beating the Cleveland Indians and then had to fulfill their obligation to Major League Baseball by playing a National League team.

For the Colorado Rockies the fairy tale ended the way INTO THE WOODS did. But kudos for a great year. And they play the Dodgers 19 times next year so they have a good chance of repeating.

At least with a sweep we are no longer subjected to Tim McCarver. Was there even one sentence he didn’t begin with “We talked about this, Joe…”? Thank God for radio and Jon Miller.

With all the cameras Fox had capturing the reactions of every person imaginable, I’m only sorry they didn’t have a camera in Johnny Damon’s house.

I did enjoy the close-up of Red Sox co-owner Tom Werner yawning with two outs in the ninth – thus expressing the sentiments of most of the nation. It was the best owner shot since Jane Fonda was caught sleeping during a Braves playoff game.

Will World Series MVP Mike Lowell be replaced next season by A-Rod?

Nice classless touch of his uber agent Scott Boras to announce that he was opting out of his contract with the Yankees during the game. Reason given: Rodriguez was concerned over all the instability of the Yankees’ situation. REAL reason: Boras has another team already lined up – not that that’s kosher – not that he cares.

Alex Rodriguez will play for any manager and with any teammates if they pay him the most money. He’ll grow a beard and join the House of David if they come up with $240 million.

By the time catcher Jason Varitek leaped into pitcher Jonathan Papelbon’s arms the MLB.COM website was already offering Red Sox World Series championship merchandise. Get yer Manny do-rags in four decorative colors!

For the Red Sox it must be tough playing on the road to only 20,000 of their fans instead of the 37,000 who sell out Fenway every home game. And not being allowed to use a Designated Hitter in Colorado, Boston got a two RBI single from a pitcher and a pinch-hit home run from a utility fielder.

A year ago Jon Lester was undergoing chemotherapy. On Sunday night he won the clinching game of the World Series. How many producers do you think are standing in line to get the rights to his story?

Will Jonathan Papelbon show up this February sweeps on DANCING WITH THE STARS?

For the $103 million it cost Boston for Dice-K, it was Hideki Okajima who really shined.

Only seven of the players from the 2004 championship team were on this squad. Notably missing during the on-field celebration were Johnny Damon, Derek Lowe, Bronson Arroyo, Drew Barrymore.

Remember when the World Series was exciting? Remember when both teams were tough and equally matched and not just a juggernaut vs. schmuck bait? The last Game 7 in a World Series: 2002. And at the time THAT was the lowest rated WS. God knows what the numbers will be for this year’s fall classic. It may become the VIVA LAUGHLIN of premium sporting events.

Again, congratulations to the Boston Red Sox. The best team swept.

For more Red Sox observations and gloating please visit my son's highly entertaining Sox blog, Dirty Watah.

When do pitchers and catchers report? I already miss baseball.

27 comments:

estiv said...

And congrats to Papelbon, for being the most recent big league player to, basically, enhance his image by being slightly nuts. As good a pitcher as he is, it's his dancing that is burned into my brain.

Greg said...

It's too bad that Sam Malone hasn't played with the Sox for a good 25 years. He would have loved the media attention the team is getting right now...and probably would have been flirting with that blonde Fox Reporter on camera.

Anyway, I'm more of a College Football guy myself, but I had to leave a note after you mentioned "Into The Woods." Even if you weren't a world-famous comedy writer, I'd respect you just for referencing musical theatre (and not even "Damn Yankees") in a baseball conversation.

Keep on bringing us your wise and witty words here, and please share some more unsung treasures from your trunk (like the Bakersfield piece).

Greg

Jill said...

I miss baseball already, too. Congrats to all Red Sox fans! This has now been, what 4 years (?) where the League Championships have been riveting craziness and the WS has been blah. Oh well.

Mark P said...

At least the World Series is still ahead of the Super Bowl, which in 41 years has had what, five or six really good games?

The Crutnacker said...

Lower numbers than Viva Laughlin? I can't wait to see the players break out in song.

I stopped getting into baseball when my beloved team (The Baltimore Orioles) decided that a great ballpark was more important than a great team.

I think the joy of the days when you could guarantee that a good chunk of your lineup was going to stay for most of their career is also gone. I look at the lineup each year and say, "WHO THE HECK IS THAT GUY?"

John C said...

I'm with you about McCarver, though he does have one expression I like. When a pitcher hangs a curve ball and a hitter launches it, he often says: "Catcher's don't catch those pitches." Anyway, what are your thoughts on Joe Buck? I can't stand his broadcasting style. He's occasionally funny, which is good in baseball, since there are plenty of slow moments. And I know there are some times when an announcer can just shut up and let the crowd noise wash over the picture. But I CAN'T STAND IT when he deadpans huge moments. It's as if he's bored and can't be bothered to be excited. What do you think? I love John Miller as well, and was lucky enough to move to Detroit in 2000, early enough to have heard the last few years of Ernie Harwell.

Tom Berg said...

My favorite World Series was in 1991, the Twins against the Braves.

Talk about excitement! It went 7 games and the home team won everytime. Good thing the Twins had home field advantage.

emily litella said...

Best sleep I've had in years...

Graham Powell said...

What's up with Manny's improved defense? Except for the line drive he misjudged, he looked pretty good out there.

Daniel said...

it's a real shame A-Rod didn't Do The Right Thing by (a) taking less money than he's worth, (b) from a team that won't let him play his best position in a city where (c) the media hates him for being the best player on the team and having the nerve to hit SOLO home runs when, if he were Jeter, he could by sheer force of will make the people in front of him get on base.

yeah, that A-Rod. what a dick.

VP81955 said...

I'm sure Larry Lucchino will continue to downgrade his poor ol' franchise vis-a-vis the Yankees, even though he's with Evil Empire II (and believe me, to every non-yuppie outside New England, that's what the Bosox are now). It'd be like feeling sorry for Yale because it doesn't have Harvard's endowment. Awww.

All in all, a sour end to an otherwise interesting postseason (though as a whole, the games weren't as good as thwy were in '05 -- no 18-inning Atlanta-Houston or 14-inning Chisox-Houston -- or even '06). Cleveland and Colorado learned you can advance a little bit without big money, but you still can't beat the elite. Sigh.

Mr. Hollywood said...

John C ... I'm with you on Joe Buck. Sorry, he's a snoozer for me. Wouldn't it be wonderful if, just one more time, we could hear the magificence of Vin Scully calling the World Series? Otherwise, it's Jon Miller and Joe Morgan for me...

Anonymous said...

is there some way to get the series off of fox network? maybe those jerks can learn to pronounce hispanic names - i couldn't stand it - too much blabbing about "history" when there was action not being shown - turner's did it so much better - we deserve more -

Schottzie03 said...

Tim McCarver...my all time least favorite.

What the heck was going on with the rest of the broadcast team? Was Jeanne Zelasko dressed in a Lorretta Switt Halloween costume? And Chris Meyers looked like he was dressed up as Al Gore.

HDTV makeovers?

Coulda done without the constant promos...and Chris Meyers hard hitting interview with the executive from Taco Bell.

Bruce said...

My favorite McCarver quip about Manny flipping his helmet off when he's digging for home.

"It doesn't make you faster, if it did, marathoners would be wearing helmets".

Anonymous said...

Kielty's an outfielder, and until this year played full time (i.e. not a sub) for the A's.

tb said...

Still remember last years game seven of the ALCS. Every kids dream right? Game seven, bottom of the ninth, bases loaded, full count, team down by two....and the pitch...strike three LOOKING!!!! OW!

Anonymous said...

I don't think you can underestimate the impact of eight days rest had on the Rockies.
I for one believe the post season is dragged out too long and giving an unfair advantage to some because of the TV scheduling gods.

b

Jenius said...

We interrupt this World Series recap and celebration to speculate on what the Yankees are doing right now and for the rest of the off-season.

mrgumby2u said...

I didn't see any of the WS games on TV this year, but didn't feel too bad about it because I had the suspicion that I was sparing myself from having to listen to McCarver. Thanks for confirming that; I'll enjoy the winter much more now.

Phil H. said...

We are lucky enough to live in a place that doesn't carry Fox (spat between the cable co and affiliate in Spokane) so we got patched into Fox Sports en Espanol. Same pictures, just 100% less McCarver, Buck, Zelasko, and Myers. It was glorious.

VP81955 said...

tb said...
Still remember last years game seven of the ALCS. Every kids dream right? Game seven, bottom of the ninth, bases loaded, full count, team down by two....and the pitch...strike three LOOKING!!!! OW!


You must mean game seven of the NLCS, because Detroit swept last year's ALCS (and it did the Tigers as much good as it did the Rockies this year).

Paul Atkinson said...

Congrats to the Red Sox! Any rival of the Yankees is fine with me.

Maybe next year my Braves won't suck. :-(

VP81955 said...

Paul Atkinson said...
Congrats to the Red Sox! Any rival of the Yankees is fine with me.

Maybe next year my Braves won't suck. :-(


Believe me, Paul, you'll soon be as sick of the Bosox as you are of the Yankees.

Oh, and watch out for those improving Nats next year. They're not quite ready to contend, but as the Mets can attest, they can cause plenty of havoc.

Anonymous said...

Maybe ESPN can take up the mantra of 1010 WINS-AM radio in New York ... "All Yankees, All The Time ... 22 minutes and we'll give you A-Rod's world"

Jeff said...

A House of David refererence? Wow, that is hilariously obscure!

Also a thought: So this has to completely remove the Red Sox from the "long-suffering" category, right? You can't really be a lovable underdog when you win two World Series in four years, right?

Buttermilk Sky said...

anonymous b is right about the lengthening of the post-season. Especially in cities like Denver and Boston, either play earlier in October or -- and here's a radical idea -- play day games. Baseball is not meant to be played at midnight in a cold, driving rain.

McCarver thinks that if there's announcer silence for five seconds, the terrorists win.