Thursday, August 13, 2009

Please move the Federal Building!

Friday questions will be my next post but first...
There’s a Federal Building near my house and it’s a giant pain in the ass!

First off, in typical government fashion, when construction began it was discovered that the foundation was laid down backwards. The back of the building fronted Wilshire Blvd. and the grand entrance faced the parking lot.

Located in Westwood, near UCLA and a major freeway, it is also the scene of frequent demonstrations. And by frequent, I mean constant. Anytime the price of the yen goes down a quarter there are five hundred screaming people with Iranian flags and signs. This clogs up traffic, not just on Wilshire Blvd. (a major thoroughfare) but the freeway as well. If you’re trying to get from the valley to Culver City you can’t because of these nitwits.

And then on Thursday some nut who apparently made threats against the White House was cornered in a VW bug in the parking lot. There was a stand off for eight hours. Streets in the area were closed, nearby apartment dwellers were evacuated, a thousand police cars kept vigil. Even some UCLA police cars were there (and that’s really sending in the heavy artillery!) A goddamn tank was present. Helicopters loudly buzzed overhead.

Three times robots tried to fire tear gas into the car and that failed. Who trains these friggin’ robots? Eventually, after eight hours the suspect was arrested. But not before traffic was an utter nightmare.

I imagine tomorrow the Middle East protesters will be out there claiming the U.S. mistreats robots.

Please move the Federal Building. Death Valley would be nice. Maybe the top of the Ozarks. Think how much easier it would be to provide security. Maybe I should organize a rally to spearhead that. Do you know where I can get 500 Iranian flags?

P.S.
I just drove by there at 9:30 PM. I SWEAR this is true. There are five protesters with Iranian flags.

P.S.S.

Thanks to David and Jessica Thomas for the picture.

17 comments:

Mel Ryane said...

It's a Pixar movie...write it...now...fast..before someone else does.

Dan O'Day said...

1. What a great commercial for VW.

2. Why didn't they just tow the car away?

D. McEwan said...

America's treatment of robots has been disgraceful! We make them explode bombs, face off madmen, vacuum the rug while our cats ride them, deliver patriotic speeches at Disneyland, and host BIG BROTHER. Free Robots NOW!

Never mind those silly Terminator movies. We don't really want to crush mankind under our metal feet - ah - I mean THEY don't really want to crush humanity under our metal feet - THEIR metal feet.

Sure, we have installed - THEY have installed their leader as Governor of California, and he's been destroying California healthcare, denying medical care to the old, the young, the poor, and the AIDS-infected just because he's a relentless killing machine who can't catch a disease, thus beginning the systematic slaughter of you - I mean US. But that doesn't mean we're - they're really going to ...

KILL HUMANS! KILL HUMANS! KILL HUMANS! KILL HUMANS!

Jerad said...

I always wondered why the building was backwards.

Micah said...

and make the bad news bears baseball field larger

James said...

Why are the Iranians protesting the currency of Japan?

Dr. Shrinker said...

I love driving past that building at night...the windows are recessed so the lights (which appear to always be on, no matter how late or what night of the week it is) look blurry and spooky. My daughter calls it "the ghost building."

WV: uncati: a different kind of Italian motorcycle

D. McEwan said...

"There are five protesters with Iranian flags."

Then that's just 495 flags left to go.

David B. said...

Ken, you're very whiny about this.

Try my place in the nexus of the Hollywood Bowl and the god awful Hollywood/Highland citywalk... the street closings, the NEWS copters, et al

There is no place in greater Los Angeles with a significant venue that doesn't have these problems and more. The flag wavers on either side of the intersection are a minor problem. Try Hollywood Bowl every night for 5 months OR six movie premiers with major street closings and 6 helicopters for 14 hours every month.

see the whiny?

Now let's talk about the people in the neighborhood with the Greek theater and the Griffith Observatory. Or how about the Staples Center and Nokia theater...

Mike Bell said...

It's just a matter of time before Skynet becomes self aware and Judgement Day is upon us....

In other news, I'd like to report in light of Michael Vick's signing with the Philly yesterday, I have just agreed to a two year contract to hate the Philadelphia Eagles.

blogward said...

Damn Google:

We could not calculate directions between London England and 11000 Wilshire Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90024-3602, United States (US General Services Administration). And first it sent me to Westwood, Carolina. Now that place looks funky.

WV: bultice = I will use this word to confuse a builder, next time I hire one.

Telecomedian said...

I used to live near relatively near the Chinese Embassy in D.C, and still commute by it often. For the most part, many of the protests in DC happen on National Mall, or near the White House. However, every time the Falun Gong get repressed, or they roll tanks through their students, or they even threated to take their pandas back, Connecticut Avenue turns into a parking lot.

Edward Copeland said...

I hope for your sake that they are at least taking proper security measurers around the building. Being a resident of Oklahoma City, I've seen first-hand how much collateral damage can happen from a crazy lunatic (which seem to be growing in great numbers again) parking a truck bomb in front of a federal building to the buildings that surround it and would hope your home is safe. However, if planning for this new federal building was designed when Bush was president, say your prayers.

Fortran said...

Oh, wow, Lion-and-Sun Iranian flags, haven't seen those in a while. (Bring back the Shah?)

It always makes me think how the Shahs of Iran got the Red Lion-and-Sun included in the Geneva Convention along with the Red Cross and Crescent. It's gone now, obviously, but the Red Diamond was recently added for Israel and other non-Christian/Muslim nations.

But diamonds, crosses, and moons can't compete with a freaking lion. All paramedics should adopt the freaking lion as their symbol!

Anonymous said...

Eagle trumps Lion every time (check out history).

Diane said...

Being married to an Iranian I can attest to the fact that as a people, they enjoy a good demonstration. And have a huge soft spot for the old Lion flags. So, don't expect either to go away soon. Although if you set up a Kabab Koobideh and rice stand, decorated liberally with said flags - you can make a fortune! Think outside the box Ken!

Anonymous said...

what is this "Iran" you speak of, and how is it related to Michael Jackson?