People were camped out in front of the theater in my neighborhood for three days to see the first showing of NEW MOON. Uh, it’s not a once-in-a-lifetime event or concert. It’s a MOVIE. It stays the same. It’s not like if you wait until next week Nancy Pelosi and Joe Lieberman will be playing the title roles.
Similarly, a gas station on Moorpark in the valley was charging $2.85 for regular last week. A block down a station was charging $3.19 and they practically had a line. It’s the same gasoline, morons! There’s no such thing as Techron!
Our one rule for when our kids wanted to go off to college: there must be a direct flight home. How many of you or your kids will be stuck in airports this week trying to make a connection?
In a break from the long-standing tradition of having a major network broadcast the Primetime Emmys, they will be on NBC next year. Maybe they could get Jay Leno to host them. He gets so little exposure over there.
Anyone else notice that 30 ROCK’S ratings are absolutely in the toilet this year? Fire Tracy Morgan. Use Brian Williams more. Heck, let Brian Williams host the Emmys.
Is there even one week a year that the World Series of Poker isn’t going on?
Someone is following me on Twitter now who is also following 37036 people. I’m so honored.
My partner David reports from Soho where our "Dancin' Homer" episode of the SIMPSONS is selling briskly on a Spring Street vendor's table. I hope David collected our .000000000000001% cut.
How soon until Blue-Ray becomes obsolete? Answer: Now. I just got a Blue-Ray player.
And this might just be that new thing: Scientists are researching biodegradable, silicon-silk devices that could be implanted inside the human body for various applications, potentially including the development of "LED tattoo" skin displays. You could invite friends over and show IT’S COMPLICATED on your ass.
A great recent headline in the news: Gang Killed People To Extract Their Fat
Oprah told her studio audience last week “Much prayer and months of careful thought” led her to shut down her syndicated show in 2011. By “prayer” she meant: “I’ll now have more money than God”.
It’s always odd to see what people searched on Google to get to my site. Recent searches include:
Total Drama Island Nude
Sonya Walger masturbation
How bad to teacup pigs smell?
David Lloyd pants
Erotic Nudity on Netflix
Jump Rope girls
How many F words are in the Taking of Pelham 1-2-3?
Steve Martin plastic surgery
Happy ending message (he probably meant massage)
What songs does Sinatra mention Jilly?
Another Christmas of agony
Japanese girls in white socks (I'm certainly the go-to site for that)
Hotter than two rats in a wool sock author
Best porn star site (why did they come to me???)
For anyone in my generation, November 22nd is our September 11th.