The MAD MEN third season finale airs Sunday night. Another great year. As usual, there’s been a lot of speculation as to what’s going to happen. Will the Drapers split up? Will the Sterlings split up? Will the Campbells split up? Will the Harris’ split up? Will Sterling-Cooper split up? Will the Beatles split up?
But no one seems to speculate on Don & Betty’s kids. So let me be the first. This is how I envision their children will turn out.
SALLY DRAPER – Will reject everything her mother is and stands for. Lives for the day she can put her in a home. Attends Northwestern University in the early 70s and adopts the “Carole King” look – jeans, peasant blouse, long frizzy hair. Infuriates her mother by dating a Black Panther and then really sends her over the side by dating a Jew. She gets back at her dad too by sleeping with Roger and Pete. Develops commitment issues and prefers the company of married men. Sally finds herself the subject of tabloids when Nelson Rockefeller dies between her legs.
BOBBY DRAPER – Will always remain close with his sister. She’s the only person who didn’t completely ignore him. (How ignored was he? Three different actors have now played the part. Did you even notice?) Is freebasing by the time he’s 16, an alcoholic by 17, and a sex change operation by 18, where he changes his name to Sally.
GENE DRAPER – Joins the Army, becomes an Adjutant General, discovers his father’s shady military past, and sends him to Leavenworth for twenty years.
What to you think???