Thursday, July 01, 2010

Is King Tut's Penis Missing?

How's that for a grabber?

Happy to say I'm a contributing columnist to the HuffingtonPost. I love when one of my articles is on the front page ahead of Bill Clinton's and Jamie Lee Curtiss'. Better than the rants are the headlines. These are ACTUAL HuffPost headlines from just yesterday. I imagine some are still up.

Is King Tut's Penis Missing?

Chinese Companies 'Renting' White People

Amazing mice learn to SURF

Loveless Chinese Troops Banned From Online Dating

Tiger Woods Attends Daughter's Birthday Party With Another Woman

Cops Mistook Lohan's Cocaine For Breath Mint

Kelly Ripa Pounds An Ice Cream Sundae

Is Glenn Beck The Publishing Industry's Biggest Hope?

Kourtney Kardashian Defends Cosleeping With Her Son

Jeremy Piven Drops His Phone In Toilet At Sushi Restaurant

Death Rays, Sniper Rifles, And Blenders: The 5 WEIRDEST Ways To Destroy The New iPhone

Phillie Phanatic SUED By 75-Year-Old Woman

Marilyn Monroe X-Rays Auctioned: A Breach Of Medical Privacy?

Oil Spill-Inspired Video Game Pokes Fun At Palin, Lets You Fight The Leak

12 comments:

Vermonter17032 said...

Hey, good news. I found King Tut's penis. If you look closely in that picture you'll see it is attached to his chin.

Charles H. Bryan said...

Well, if anyone's looking to pitch the absolutely worst Indiana Jones movie ...

Chad said...

I'm dying! If the cops come around asking, Vermonter17032's comment is what did me in. So obvious, yet so unexpected.

swansonista said...

King Tut's penis is in a mason jar in my refridgerator. Right next to the pickled cow's tongue.
Good thing I'm a vegetarian.
I also have a bottle of Vodka in my freezer, fyi. I don't drink, but keep it handy for guests.

YEKIMI said...

Indiana Jones & the Search For The Pickled Penis......me thinks this might get an R rating....although as old as Harrison Ford is getting they might as well make: Indiana Jones and the Search for The Mighty Metamucil.

Cap'n Bob Napier said...

Shrinkage! He was in a cold pool!

Mary Stella said...

A boy's mummy doesn't like to think about his penis

Phillie Phanatic sued? Travesty!

Ken, for Friday questions, this week's TV Guide says The Cosby Show single-handedly brought back the sit-com. Do you agree, disagree or . . .?

Tom Quigley said...

Vermonter17032 said...

"Hey, good news. I found King Tut's penis.If you look closely in that picture you'll see it is attached to his chin."...

Any more facelifts and that's probably where Burt Reynolds' will be too...

Gary said...

Burt's penis on King Tut's chin? Burt's an organ donor. God to admit, tho, Tut must've been quite the man, his penis is golden. Penis jokes at 6:20 a.m.? Sometimes we just wake up with those jokes, don't we.

Tom Quigley said...

I'd love to get the chance to write some of the HuffPost headlines... How's this for a current story?:

"Al Gore Denies Sexual Assault Charges, Gropes For An Explanation"

swansonista said...

I got REALLY REALLY stoned this weekend. I ate King Tut's penis.
What? It looked a helluva lot better than the pickled cow's tongue.

Christina said...

I read in otto Neubert's book (who was with Howard Carter in the tomb of King Tut) that the penis was 12 cm.