Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Fall Movie Preview Part 2

More of the movies you'll be subjected to this fall. Part 1 was yesterday.

WHAT’S YOUR NUMBER? – High concept romantic comedy (aren’t they all?) starring Anna Faris as a girl who must determine which of her twenty former lovers is her true love. Damn! There goes my Wilt Chamberlain notion. He has to choose between his 20,000 former lovers. And I’m already on page 3,473 on the screenplay.


I DON’T KNOW HOW SHE DOES IT – The question usually asked whenever Sarah Jessica Parker lands a starring role.


RED STATE – Kevin Smith’s low budget horror film about religious zealots who kill for Jesus. I wondered when Kevin was finally going to make a holiday movie. And while we’re on the subject…

MACHINE GUN PREACHER – Pass the collection plate. I’m out of bullets.

APOLLO 18 – Astronauts get to the moon and discover a Roger Maris home run ball.

SHARK NIGHT 3D – It’s like you’re actually there at the testimonial dinner for Ari Emmanual.


FOOTLOOSE – Why?????

MARTHA MARCY MAY MARLENE – High school girl with split personalities. Advance reaction from critics: Loved her, liked her, loathed her, and really loved her.

PARIAH – High school girl who leads different lives. Doesn’t that sound like exactly like MARTHA MARCY MAY MARLENE?


YOUNG ADULT – Jason Reitman & Diablo Cody team up again, this time for a tale about 30 year-old who acts like she’s still a high school girl. So Seth Rogen/Jason Segel/Jonah Hill without the Y chromosome. Or... Charlize Theron playing Juno. I love the creative team. Got my fingers crossed for this one.  

IN TIME – Sci-Fi genre. 27 year-old Olivia Wilde plays 30 year-old Justin Timberlake’s mother. Based on Hugh Hefner’s most recent engagement.

LIKE CRAZY – Trying to sustain a long distance romance. One of many Sundance Festival prize winners. That’s the other theme this season – Sundance hits. Hope it does better than other Sundance sensations like IN THE SOUP, THE SPITFIRE GRILL, HAPPY TEXAS, SON OF RANBOW, and HAMLET 2.

THE RUM DIARY – Early Hunter S. Thompson novel starring Johnny Depp. I can see myself being at the Hollywood ArcLight on a Friday night, packed house with Johnny Depp fans, and I’m the only one in the theater who even has a clue as to who Hunter S. Thompson was.

TEXAS KILLING FIELDS – Any open space in Texas not occupied by a WalMart.


THE THING – Actually a prequel to John Carpenter’s original movie. So this is more of THE ‘JESUS, WHAT DO YOU CALL THAT?


PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 3 – Not in 3D though, since they don’t make Flip Cameras in that format.


SLEEPING BEAUTY – Erotic telling of the classic fairy tale. Not sure what that means. Do the fairies slip her a roofie?

21 comments:

Kat said...

I'm very surprised to see the upcoming What's Your Number?. It's just a movie version of a not-so-great TV show called The Ex List. I watched a few episodes when it first aired and it was cute for a few minutes but quickly got annoying. I hope the movie is better.

Mary Stella said...

I thought you were kidding about Machine Gun Preacher. Then, judging from the photo, I thought it was Rambo Finds God and it's all brimstone and fire-fire-fire-fire!

I looked up the movie in imdb and found this:
The story of Sam Childers, a former drug-dealing biker tough guy who found God and became a crusader for hundreds of Sudanese children who've been forced to become soldiers.

Then Google took me to machinegunpreacher.org.

My prayer for this movie? Please let it be better than Ugly Truth and Bounty Hunter.

Anonymous said...

Sleeping Beauty - google Anne Rice's version. I'm guessing that's what they're adapting.

Mr. Hollywood said...

One movie just cancelled by Disney - The Lone Ranger. Apparently in this latest incarnation, the Long Ranger uses his silver bullets to kill werewolves. Really. Truly the end of creativity.

rdcobb said...

This totally explains why the only movies I've gone to see in the past six years have been Harry Potter (even though many of those were disappointing adaptations). Right now I do want to go see Fright Night, just because I'm in love with David Tennant.

Nathan said...

Android makes a phone with a 3D camera. You can shoot your movie between calls trying to get your electric and gas turned back on! A must for every aspiring producer!

Gnasche said...

Why does everyone keep referring to John Carpenter's "The Thing" as original? It was a remake of "The Thing from Another World" (a fantastic movie on par with Carpenter's version).

YEKIMI said...

And they were both taken from a John W. Campbell Jr Science Fiction novella called "Who Goes There?". I read it back in the 70s and it's truly a story you can't put down. I started reading it and couldn't stop and kept on till I finished it at 4 AM, even though I had to get up at 7 for school. WAY better than both movies!

Sebastian said...

So they re-made "High Fidelity" without the music, without John Cusack, without Jack Black and C. Zeta-Jones or Tim Robbins, without the music but with Anna Faris.

I'm exstatic.

Retro Blog said...

Sleeping Beauty by Anne Rice.
If they go THAT way it will be Rated Triple XXX. And it was a pointless trilogy. Prince Charming finds Sleeping Beauty and literally fucks her awake, it goes downhill from there. Lots of living the life of domination submission, all action all the timem, very wearing. I finally asked the book story lady, does this thing ever end? Um, nope variations on a theme. Just put it down and walk away. Really.

Kate said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Frank said...

I hear Roseanne is tipped to play Sleeping Beauty.

cadavra said...

"Real Steel" is based on a short story by Richard Matheson that was previously filmed as a "Twilight Zone" episode, so it's both a remake AND a TV spinoff. Good times.

cadavra said...

Oops, never mind. Someone already beat me to it on the other thread.

DogsOnDrugs.com said...

Footloose? Ok, now they're just remaking everything. Next up, Hee-Haw: The Movie.

Buttermilk Sky said...

In a packed house of Depp fans, there's bound to be one who saw "Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas." Maybe more than one.

Paul Duca said...

I wonder how many actors have played the same role in two different films without it being a sequel/prequel issue (I consider RUM DIARY and FEAR & LOATHING two distinct books, about tow different periods in the authors life, not part of a TWILIGHT/HARRY POTTER type series).

Og said...

DogsOnDrugs said:

Footloose? Ok, now they're just remaking everything. Next up, Hee-Haw: The Movie.

My joke was going to be that they're making movies based on just anything now, and suggest "Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots: The Movie". But then I saw the trailer for Real Steel and I figure, actually they are making that. So, careful, or you'll see a Hee Haw movie in our lifetime. Single tear. Down cheek.

jbryant said...

Now you people have me mentally casting Hee-Haw: The Movie, damn you. Billy Bob Thornton and Jack Black as Buck and Roy? Robert De Niro as Archie Campbell? Dame Judi Dench as Minnie Pearl? Margo Martindale as Lulu Roman? I fear, however, that Junior Samples is inimitable.

DogsOnDrugs.com said...

@jbryant: Here you go...

Hee-Haw: The Movie

bevo said...

Retro Blog: Sleeping Beauty by Anne Rice. If they go THAT way it will be Rated Triple XXX.

I am going to the wrong bookstore because no clerk recommended that book.

I would leave a longer comment. But, apparently, I need to run an errand.