Thursday, August 04, 2016
STAR TREK BEYOND (REASON)
So you can either say I’m wrong, or at the very least I have my own opinion, or I'm right and it’s the Starship Commander’s New Clothes.
I’ve enjoyed the reboot. Sure, I had my quibbles – not sure why Alice Eve had to gratuitously play a scene in her underwear, but if that’s the worst thing about this franchise it should go for another eight light years.
So imagine my surprise and disappointment seeing STAR TREK BEYOND. Even more baffling were some of the reviews I subsequently read. People I respect like Anthony Lane and Peter Travers. What movie were they watching?
The STAR TREK I saw was a complete and utter mess. Half the time I had no idea what the fuck was happening. Sorry. Maybe that makes me shallow, but action sequences bounced around, they were disorienting, absurd, and so busy that I just checked out through most of them. Often the screen was filled with a thousand detailed moving images that made for great viewing while stoned and listening to Jimi Hendrix but not when trying to follow a story.
If there were rules they sure weren’t consistent. Sometimes people could be beamed aboard from midair, other times they couldn’t from the designated beaming-aboard area on the ground. Mechanical breakdowns were never a problem. Faster than Sulu could shout out, “We need to re-activate the frabazabber to fifty million zigabytes and calibrate the Plutonerator to the same frequency as the spitzsensor board” Simon Pegg had fixed the problem. Not once was he short a tool or had to send to Detroit for parts.
The dialogue is a mixture of space gobbledygook, some good one-liners (thank you Simon Pegg), and the usual turgid, “Damn it, Jim!/I can’t hold ‘er, Cap’n!” STAR TREK-speak.
I saw it at a WGA screening and half the departing audience thought it was confusing, and the other half analyzed it to death (as they do every film). “I don’t think the villain got enough screen time.” “The pacing was acceptable but not extraordinary.”
Again, critics and many moviegoers are giving this film thumbs up. So it may only be me who thought "Meh." And Vulcans. Because this movie was not logical.