The deadline for entering the Daffy Definition Kontest in 9:00 PST Thursday. Here's where you go. An unproduced pilot can be yours!!!
New York Giants moron Paxico Burress (above) shot himself in the leg accidentally when the concealed weapon he was carrying went off during a nightclub visit. Don’t you hate it when that happens to you? But it brings to mind some of my other favorite stupid professional sports injuries.
Detroit Tigers pitcher Zoel Zumaya, sustained inflammation in his arm, causing him to miss three games of the 2008 American League Championship Series because he played too much of the video game “Guitar Hero”.
Ken Griffey Jr. once missed a game for the Seattle Mariners when he pinched himself with his protective cup.
Wade Boggs, former Red Sox (Red Sock?), injured his back while trying to put on cowboy boots. He also sustained minor injuries after his wife tried to run him over with her car. Seek counseling, you two lovebirds.
Atlanta Braves' pitcher/genius John Smoltz once burned himself while ironing a shirt. He was wearing the shirt at the time. I wish I making that up.
Brett Barbarie (once married to Jillian, the Fox sports dingbat), then a second baseman for the Florida Marlins, wa making nachos before a game. After cutting chili peppers, Barbarie washed his hands, but they apparently still had some chili oil on them. When he put in his contacts his eyes started burning and he couldn't play. Maybe Jillian was the smart one in that relationship.
San Diego pitcher Adam Eaton missed a start when he stabbed himself in the stomach while trying to cut the shrink-wrap off a DVD. This is why we need itunes.
Hall of Famer George Brett broke his toe when he tripped running from the kitchen to the living room to watch a baseball game replay of himself on TV. This is why we have YouTube.
Fellow teammate, Brent Mayne, missed a month of the 2002 season. He wrenched his back turning his head to check for traffic while crossing a street.
Sammy Sosa had to go on the Disabled List after hurting his back sneezing.
Jose Cardenal missed a game because of crickets in his hotel room. He was too exhausted to play.
Kevin Mitchell (when I was broadcasting for the Mariners) threw up so violently after eating a chili dog during a game in Anaheim that he strained his ribs and missed the next month.
Latrell Sprewell broke his hand when he tripped and fell of his yacht. Hard to really feel sorry for him, isn’t it?
Former NHL goaltender Glenn Healy missed time between the pipes after he cut his finger while attempting to repair bagpipes. I always send mine out.
Nolan Ryan once was bitten by a coyote. Tell me you haven’t used that excuse.
Toronto Blue Jay, Glenallen Hill, had a bad dream about spiders, leaped out of bed and crashed into something.
Denver Bronco's quarterback, Brian Griese nearly missed a game after he sprained his ankle when he was run over by his dog.
Little Muggsy Bogues missed the second half of an NBA game after unintentionally inhaling ointment fumes during a halftime treatment. Far out man!
Boston's Craig Grebeck had to leave a game after rubbing his eye with a finger that had stick-em on it.
Golfer John Daly hurt his hand but to stop the bleeding he put Super Glue on it. Why didn’t we think of that on MASH?
Washington QB Gus Ferotte was taken to the hospital with a jammed neck after he head-butted the end zone concrete wall while celebrating a touchdown.
And don’t think it’s just American athletes. I saved the best for last.
Australian rugby league player Jamie Ainscough complained of an infection in his arm so doctors gave him X-rays which revealed Jamie had another player's tooth embedded into his arm. The tooth found its way into Jamie's arm in a game nearly a month earlier but he's not sure how it happened. Maybe it’s when he bit him, but I wasn’t there. Anyway, this story has a happy ending. Jamie mailed the tooth back to the other player.