Sunday, December 28, 2008

We have a winner!

Congratulations to Elaine and derchaci, which won the second Daffy Definition Kontest. Elaine, please email me so I can send you your coveted prize. Congrats also to the other finalists: James, Simon H. Mike Bell, and Kirk Jusko. And thanks to YOU for participating. Great new stuff next year if I can come up with it.

11 comments :

James said...

Congratulations to Elaine and the other finalists.

May I just say that no one has managed to quite so devastatingly destroy all my hopes and dreams without ever looking back with even the slightest hint of regret. Bravo, Elaine. Bravo. You're a cold, cold person. Impressively so.

Thanks to everyone that voted for Bioner. I think we now all share a rather unique bond. I'm also grateful for the response to what I believe was my first time commenting on this blog, even though it's the closest thing I have to a religion (I'm sorry Ken, I even stayed silent all those times you asked us to tell you about ourselves. Next time i'll give you so much information you'll be begging me to stop). Special thanks to a certain D. McEwan, whose professed amusement at one of my earlier entries gave me the confidence to keep entering again and again and again.

To everyone who didn't vote for a bionically engineered erection: Are you really that difficult to satisfy? I mean, WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT? Two? Do you want two bionically engineered erections? Should I have added that it was made in Brazil?

Oh well, onwards to next year. Speaking of which, Ken, next time can we have holographic interviews with some professionals that can really analyse the finer aspects of comedy. Someone like, say, Traci Lords. Now there's someone who would've had a deep appreciation of Bioner.

(Apologies if this comes up a little mangled. I staying at my mum's house at the moment and don't have access to a computer with internet access so I'm stuck posting this over my mobile phone. I don't mean an iPhone or a Blackberry, either. But a mobile phone on which the primary function is to make actual phone calls.)

Anonymous said...

From Jan:

sostess--the hostess of a party who has had a little too much wine before guests arrive.

(I didn't enter before, but it is sort of addicting, isn't it.)

And "bioner" was my second choice, but I just couldn't resist derchachi.

Elaine said...

Three cheers and a tiger for me! I have won! Congrats to the other nominees -- I was up against some pretty 'stiff' competition. If I hadn't needed to vote for myself, I would have chosen "Ophelly" -- that cracked me up. Thanks to all who voted for me, and especially to Ken for running the contest!

(My word for this post is 'pereing'. I've got nothin'.)

Barefoot Billy Aloha said...

"Pereing" - the sound of a urine stream in a stainless steel toilet.

(I am so ashamed...)

Kirk Jusko said...

As they say around Oscar time, it's an honor just to be nominated. Congratulations to Elaine, Dave C, and all the other finalists. And thanks to all 85 of you who voted for me.

modistox: a cow-like animal who doesn't like to show off.

Brian Phillips said...

Congrats to Elaine, who not only cracked me up, but also knows a good Bugs Bunny quote when she hears one.

I thought "pereing" was the act of French fatherhood, but...

A. Buck Short said...

James, I think the voters may have been fearful of too much of a good thing. If it’s any consolation, I laughed at your bioner for 3 hrs. and 59 minutes. One more minute and the label said I would have had to see script doctor Abe Burrows.

Dimension Skipper said...

Yes, congratulations to Elaine on her comedic victory and thanks to all the contestants for playing.

But now let's turn our attention to proposals for the Next Big Ken Levine Contest...

How about craziest photo of your pets wearing clothes? Or photo captioning?

A cousin of mine was in town for the Christmas holiday and brought along her two dogs, Kiko and Nellie. Obviously the pic of Kiko is the one of interest (if any) around these parts, but I had to include Nellie just so she wouldn't feel left out.

My captions would be...

For Kiko: "Why is that soldier wearing a dress??? Now THAT'S just plain weird!"

For Nellie: [Sigh] "I really wish people wouldn't put labels on me."

Dimension Skipper said...

Oops. I forgot one other thing...

I don't know if your "friday questions" have to be submitted on friday or if they can be submitted anytime and then answered on friday, but the pic of Kiko made me want to ask:

What's the oddest bit of M*A*S*H merchandising you ever saw? Or for any other show you've worked on for that matter? And as a writer, producer, director, etc., how aware of any merchandising ventures are you?

Simon H. said...

I never thought I would be able to top my fourth place finish last week, but somehow I managed to pull out a dead last finish this time around. When your own spouse doesn't get the joke you attempted with your entry, it's probably a good sign you have little chance. Thank you to the few misguided souls who voted for me, and congratulations to Elaine, whose derchahi entry made me wince (and laugh) when I read it and knew instantly it would be the winner. Rest assured, this contest was the beginning and end of my comedy writing career. Thank you to Ken Levine for a fun contest, and to a fun year reading and enjoying this blog.

jbryant said...

Congrats, Elaine, condolences to James and the others.

James, if my "prock" couldn't win the first round, your "bioner" didn't stand a chance. Accept no substitutes for the real thing. Or thingie.