Friday, December 09, 2005

Weekend Misc.

Mariah Carey nabbed eight Grammy nominations thus continuing her stunning comeback and pushing back her Magic Mountain concert at Spilikin Corners until October.

Is there a cheesier looking awards statue than the Grammy? They should just change the name to Tschatsky.

Chris Rock will not host this year’s Oscars. His performance last year inspired the title EVERYBODY HATES CHRIS.

Switched at birth: director James Cameron & Dodger owner Frank McCourt.

Why do I fear KING KONG is not as good as the hype?

Katie Couric may anchor the CBS Evening News. What better qualification for becoming the successor to Walter Cronkite and Edward R. Murrow than being adorable?

I’m really looking forward to MUNICH. Vigilante Jews. Yeah!!

The “stars” for DANCING WITH THE STARS 2 have been announced and all I can say is “wow!” Tatum O’Neal (coming off that recent Oscar win), ESPN’s Kenny Mayne (biggest gift is being able to pronounce long names), WWE’s Stacy Kiebler, George Hamilton (who is probably already in make up), actress Tia Carrere , and “journalist” Giselle Fernandez. And after the show they can all live in one house with Tammy Fay Baker, Amarosa, and Ron Jeremy.

It’s been twenty-five years now and I don’t think there’s a day when I don’t miss John Lennon.

When THE APPRENTICE is finally cancelled will someone from NBC say “Donald, you’re fired.”?

Best full page ad for Oscar consideration EVER: DeForest Kelley for Best Actor, STAR TREK III.

Very moving to see Tyra Banks on the VICTORIA SECRET CHEESECAKE SHOW on CBS. The very first time I saw her I thought, “Wow, now there’s a future talk show host”.

BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN – Too bad they didn’t make this fifty years ago. “Mr. Wayne, we’ve got a script for you but we’d really like you to look at it with an open mind…”

Miguel Tejada of the Orioles says he’s unhappy and wants to be traded. He’s in the third year of a $72 million six-year contract. …which is more than the entire population of Baltimore combined makes. You can buy a lot of fucking Lexapro for $72 million, Miguel.

Musicradio 77WABC is back!!! At least for four hours every Saturday night. From 6-10 WABC now presents an oldies show complete with the old jingles, echo, music, and even the chime. All that’s missing for sheer perfection is Dan Ingram.

Meanwhile, JERSEY BOYS, the Four Seasons juke box musical is a huge hit on Broadway, kicking Oprah’s “Purple Colored” ass. Yes Madison Ave, we baby boomers may be old but we still have all the money.

When did Michael Buble go from being a wonderful singer into a Morongo Casino lounge lizard? Caught his special on PBS. Kevin Spacey didn’t do as many Bobby Darin moves. Any performer who does the “finger gun” should be sentenced to a lifetime of opening for Buddy Greco. It’s like who ASPIRES to be Wayne Newton? Go back to singing and stop watching ROBIN AND THE SEVEN HOODS.

Wouldn’t it be great if the Carver on NIP/TUCK were OJ?

Overheard tasteless but funny joke: It’s no surprise Chicago beat Houston four nights in a row. That’s one less than Bobby Brown.


Chuck Hinson said...

Ken, looking at your Grammy (hmph ... I did that one year by accident. Pappy nearly killed me, and shut the bedroom door. I swore off sex for years after that, and still wake up with nightmares!) talk, I can agree on most points. OJ would be great in "Nip & Tuck" ... or WOULD he? See, he'd have to clean UP after that! And they DO haveta wear proper-fitting gloves when they work sometimes! Oh, well ...
Your writing is refreshing, my friend, and I admire your wit (of course, I'm in Kentucky, where ya "wit yer appytight", "wittle yer wudd" or "hieng outchair wit da guise"). Keep up the splendid work ...
I'm a friend of Lloyd's, and also have a blog (I hate that word. Sounds like the sound one makes when he kneels in front of the Porcelain Throne on New Year's Day) at and a website at My reg email address is

Looking forward to reading MORE!!

Thanx again,
Chuck Hinson

Anonymous said...

Hey, ken thanks for stopping by my Blog and giving you the heads up about yours..I will add and spread the word for sure

sign of the appocalypse (no, I didn't bump into Martin Sheen at Starbucks) but rather Rachael Ray the cooking goddess is now going to have a talk show.....

Anonymous said...

Don't forget to mention that the three leads in Memoirs of a Geisha were cast with Chinese actresses . . . in a uniquely Japanese story.

And that China and Japan have a history of animosity and war (in particular, the time upon which the film is set) share little to no cultural ties and the leads, while fine actors, don't look Japanese at all.

Great blog, Ken . . .

Anonymous said...

Is there a cheesier looking awards statue than the Grammy?

Um... have you looked at the Oscar? A bald, naked guy with a sword.

Or the Golden Globe? A... well, a penis.

I always loved the Cable Ace award, because it was a spade. Who decided that? Why not a diamond? Or club? Or a likeness of Ace Frehley?

By Ken Levine said...

I must agree the Golden Globes are pretty weenie. I remember one year Sir Laurence Olivier won one and it broke in his hand as he was giving the acceptance speech. Peoples Choice Awards are pretty cool but they only allow one free one a show. I won one years ago and was told I had to fork over $300 for the statue. Unfortunately I spent all my money bribing voters so I had nothing left.

Anonymous said...

Is that DeForest Kelley Oscar Consideration ad for real? If so, I need to find a scan of it.

By Ken Levine said...

I don't know which year but it is absolutely TRUE. He wasn't nominated, by the way. Despite the ad.

Scoopy said...

I wish I'd seen this on Friday; I needed the chuckles. Actually, I need a little rimshot machine next to the keyboard to flesh out the one-liners.

By the way, Giselle Fernandez is a condescending, discrepant, preening lizard who almost single-handedly destroyed my beloved, inane KTLA morning news in LA. How satisfying it os to see her headed straight for the Z list.