Friday, January 26, 2007

American Idol so far


Of all the bizarre looking contestants that have tried out for AMERICAN IDOL this season (and there have been shockingly many), none have even come close to Carole Bayer Sager. Yikes! She looked like a trampoline with eyes.

Why do they even need a guest judge? It takes FOUR people to determine that the skeesix in the Uncle Sam costume with boxing gloves can’t sing?

I’m still having nightmares over Carole Bayer Sager. Imagine a slingshot that’s been stretched for four blocks.

Last week the guest dead weight was Jewel. She could not have looked more uncomfortable if she were sitting with the Menendez Brothers and O.J. Simpson. Favorite moment: when she mumbled to a contestant that he had no personality.

On the other hand, when Simon is not there just cancel the auditions.

Yes, a lot of these contestants are just chump bait, and they know what they’re in for, but does the camera have to linger on them soooo long? Do we have to see them grovel and beg and cry? I don’t care if the show gets a 70 share, it’s wrong.

Okay, he couldn’t sing but flamboyant Ian Benardo was hilarious. Dump ‘TIL DEATH and put him on the air.

I bet if Joni Mitchell auditioned she’d get three no’s.

Best singer so far: Sundance Head. Best name so far: Sundance Head. For those who didn’t see the show, it’s a guy.

Not only can most kids not sing. Most apparently have never been to a dentist.

Amanda & Antonella, the two hot best friend girls (who we saw frolicking in the ocean in their bikinis .. this is Fox remember) – I’m already calling 1-900-IDOL and voting for them.

Oh please, this season, let one of the theme nights be Bjork. And another be Ethel Merman.

I loved the girl who wanted to be the first AMERICAN IDOL that couldn’t sing.

Where are they now? Kelly Clarkson is an international superstar with Grammys and platinum CD’S. Runner-up, Justin Guarini is hosting IDOL TONIGHT on the TV Guide channel.

Anytime a contestant says they’re going to sing Shakira the judges should just say, “Sorry, it’s a no. Thanks for coming.”

As I watch these auditions I wonder – which one of these kids will be the next AMERICAN IDOL and which will be Paula’s new boyfriend?

Of all the crazies, my favorite contestants were the mother and daughter that looked like Patty & Selma. Runners up: Fidel Castro, girl with the cow, the juggler/serial killer, and the hipster Amish guy.

Give Ian his own show!

29 comments:

Seymour said...

I was relieved when they said that was Carole Bayer Sager. I'd thought maybe it was Joan Collins on a really bad night.

Anonymous said...

Joni

Herb Popsfarter said...

There's no question that long established entertainers would be gonged off this show faster than you could say "Da ya think I'm sexy"

I mean seriously, can you just imagine Rod Stewart rasping a Whitney Houston standard to Cowell?

And you're right, Joni Mitchell would be lambasted... but so would many others - INCLUDING JEWEL. Hey she's okay, but I doubt she'd make it past round 3 or 4.

I know it sounds sanctimonious, but this show, and in fact most reality shows, highlight the worst in people. I'm constantly astounded the get watched and even more disappointed that they won't go away.

Thank God I'm free to change the channel. (Even though I seem to be the only one who does.)

Jeff said...

I would have paid cash money if someone had started singing to Carole, "What's it all about, Lassie?"

Anonymous said...

I think if you pull up the hair on the back of Sager's head you'll find a giant Chip Clip.

Anonymous said...

So, Ken, what is the Hollywood protocol for reacting to a facelift or other surgical enhancements? I would hate to make a faux pas and ruin my fabulous future in the show business. Do you ignore the elephant in the room? Do you compliment (It's not nearly in the Joan Rivers category.) Do you empathize? (wow, that's gotta hurt?...sorry I didn't mean to scream...It's going to look a lot better on television)...free associate? (They're showing The Mummy on Showtime tonight...or that reminds me, I'm out of Glad Wrap).

Anonymous said...

Let's not forget how fun it is to bounce up and down on a trampoline.

Cap'n Bob Napier said...

My wife and I agreed that Sager looked like she went to the same plastic surgeon and hair stylist s Joan Collins.

Jeff said...

Isn't this Carole Bayer Sager?

http://www.danvebber.com/museum/artifacts/raccoon.jpg

Anonymous said...

OMG, last night was great!

BTW - sorry to go a bit off topic but I read online that Season 4 American Idol Semi-Finalist Sarah Mather after being voted off AI has gone her own way looking find musical stardom.

Check out her taking her shot through the newest music competition, Music Nation (www.musicnation.com), an online video music competition that is giving 3 artists, one in each of the rock, pop and urban genre a recording contract with Epic Records….

Check out her video “Lost Then Found” http://www.musicnation.com/v53d

I wonder if any other AI alums will go this route???
(lets go Elliot Yamin - who was robbed of his win last year by Taylor Hicks!!)

maven said...

This season seems like the producers are getting meaner and meaner...going out of their way to provoke the disillusioned wannabes into mental breakdowns. I keep watching though because I can't believe that people will do anything for a moment in the sun. (I admit I'm an AI fan, although I can watch an hour show in 15 min. thanks to my DVR!)

OhioRuthie said...

The mother daughter duo...the daughter desperately needed a bra...that was just gross.
I agree about Simon..without him there isn't a show..the guy is hot!
I thought Jewel came across kind of snobby.

Oh. It's Kristen Again. *sigh* said...

The mother/daughter duo reminded me of Joey Ramone. Both of them.

Anonymous said...

Hard lesson learned last night. I TiVo'd American Idol, but the second hour cut off, because I'd accidentally programmed two other shows at that time... So, in a nutshell, re: New York auditions... after the energetic & corpulent black woman won some decent comments, but continued to sing, Paula started looking ill... Then it cut off... What happened to her... And were there any other highlights in that second hour you can quickly run my way? Thanks for indulging me.

Mary Stella said...

I'm rooting for Melinda Doolittle all the way.

Although, part of me wants to see a final between the revolutionary guy and Sundance Head. I want to see them after the stylists start to work on them. On the other hand, the Castro-ish guy could be this decades Johnny Cash and release an album, "Live from Gitmo Prison".

LA Guy said...

I think it's well known that of the thousands who audition not everyone gets an audience with the three judges. The contestants are pre-screened by the producers and they are essentially looking for people who are very good or very bad.

Sometimes I think the scowl on Simon's face is him thinking "I'm going to kill those bloody producers for making sit through this crap."

Zach said...

Hah! I grew up with Ian. He's changed a bit since I last saw him in junior high school.

Tom Quigley said...

I saw Rosie O'Donnell make the comment the other day in a sound bite on one of those infotainment shows that they shouldn't put delusional and mentally unbalanced people on TV and ridicule them.... I say "Why not?" We see the delusional people who run our government every day on TV and no one seems to give it a second thought...

Keith said...

I know you were joking about the Bjork theme night but I'd love to see some of those prissy kids who think singing like Brittney Spears will make them big try and handle "It's Oh So Quiet." And then laugh when their lyranx snap like rubber bands.

The Master said...

I'm sure Rosie O'Donnell didn't really mean it when she said that they shouldn't put delusional and mentally unbalanced people on TV, as if they took her advice, Rosie would be out of work.

Lesley said...

Whenever I watch American Idol auditions I get an inkling of how George Bush managed to get the top job.

Mike Barer said...

I thought that it was Carole King. I tend to get my Caroles and Neils mixed up.

aishwarya rai said...

aishwarya rai, Aishwarya Rai Biography,Aishwarya Rai Home,Aishwarya Rai Pictures,Aishwarya Rai Dies,Aishwarya Rai Wallpapers,Aishwarya Rai Forever,Aishwarya Rai Miss World 1994,Aishwarya Rai Latest News,Hot Aishwarya Rai Wallpapers,

aishwarya rai said...

aishwarya rai, Aishwarya Rai Biography,Aishwarya Rai Home,Aishwarya Rai Pictures,Aishwarya Rai Dies,Aishwarya Rai Wallpapers,Aishwarya Rai Forever,Aishwarya Rai Miss World 1994,Aishwarya Rai Latest News,Hot Aishwarya Rai Wallpapers,

fitness said...

fitness, 24 Hour Fitness, concept enters the 21st centuryLifetime Fitness,more information about this eventBally Fitness,you might want to start liftingMuscle And Fitness,articles and tipsMens Fitness,more detail on googlePhysical Fitness, information on the development and maintenanceFitness Magazine,more on yahooFitness Models,actress Photo galleriesPlanet Fitness,more on msn24hr Fitness,more on googleFitness Equipmentmore information on yahooHealth And Fitness,complete information about health and fitnessHealth FitnessFitness Program,how to manage fitness programFitness Training,the best fitness trainig schoolDiet Fitness,more diet informationHome Fitness,own care in homeOnline Fitness Trainer,more detail in yahooFitness Articles,about your fitnessGlobal Fitness,all links providedGlobal Health And FitnessFitness Plans,planing your own fitnessBeauty Fitness,more detail in googleGlobal Fitness CenterCybex Fitness Equipment, the best exercise equipmentCybex International,finest human performance

language said...

info-language,Programming Language,In this online courseLanguage Translator,Dictionaries and TranslatorsSign Language,Links to more information on msnBody Language,best source for pricing informationEnglish language,a page with links to resources japanese language,products and informationkorean language,Program is offered aslanguage tools,isting of programmingHistory Of C Language,more in googleFrench Translation dictionary languagemore ndetail in yahoo Development Of English Language,not know that literacy experiencesBody Language Tattoo,the information was there if oneBaby Sign Language,more information in yahooSign Language Online,link for all detailEnglish Official Language,best side for youHistory Of Programming Language,old programming languageYahoo Language Translator,more detail in yahooGoogle Language Translator,more detail in gooleEnglish Language Test,test your englishInterpreting Body Language,all thing for you

accomodationsmotels said...

accomodationsmotelsCod Hyannis Inn MaCape Cod AccomodationsMotels Cape CodCape Cod Travel InnCapeNew Jersey Motelhotels motels New JerseyMotel WildwoodThe Singapore Motel Wildwood CrestNew Jersey Motelhotels motels New JerseyJersey MotelNew Jersey Shore is a fun shore destination for family vacationBEACH ISLANDThe Long Beach Island FoundationUnited StatesMap of the United States of AmericaOcean CityOcean City Maryland information guideNew Jersey HotelsBest Western Hotels in New JerseySeattle MotelMotel 6 Seattle AirportSeattle AirportDoubletree Hotel Seattle AirportHotel SeattleThe Paramount SeattleMotel SeattleThe Paramount SeattleEmbassy SuitesEmbassy Suites Phoenix & ScottsdaleDiscount Seattle MotelDiscount hotels & hotel reservations in SeattleEmbassey SuitesEmbassey Suites Hotel Monterey BayEmbassy Vacation ResortsEmbassy Vacation Resort Poipu Point is laden with exoticEmbassy HotelsThe Embassy Hotel in San FranciscoMotel Brokerbed and breakfast brokersStock BrokerTop Stock Broker sites and largest stock broker directoryMortgage brokerEvery stockbroker has to be registered with theResort Brokers AustraliaResort Brokers Australia is a trade mark of Resort Brokers Pty Ltd registered in AustraliaBroker Motelsbed and breakfast brokersMotel For Salehotels for sale and motels for sale in the Hotel MotelMotel & Resort Association represents the lodging industry in MichiganHotels For Salehotels for sale and motels for saleCape Cod Motelape Cod Travel and Vacation Guide with links to Cape Cod hotelsCape CodThe Cape Cod online community guide for Cape Cape Cod Lodgingthe best in Cape Cod hotels and lodgingMotel Cape CodThe Best Motel on Outer Cape Cod MassachusettsHyannis Cape CodThis webcam is located at the Hyannis Holiday MotelRentals Cape CodCape Cod vacation rentals in BrewsterInn Cape CodThe Inn at Cape CodCape Cod MassachusettsMassachusetts Find what youre looking for on the Cape and Cape Cod MACape Cod Airport Marstons Mills MACape Cod Motel For SaleCape Motels For Sale Cod Motels for SaleTravelodge MotelTravelodge Motel and Room Features Hotel ReservationsOnline hotel reservation worldwide is nowReservation Travelodgehotel reservations in North AmericaTravelodge Motel Globehotel reservations in North AmericaTravelodge Hotelhotel reservations in North AmericaMotel Travelodgehotel reservations in North AmericaTravelodge Motel Philadelphiand the best deals for Travelodge Motel

bestjewellerybox said...

bestjewelleryboxthe best jewellery place i have foundFashion JewelleryIndian Fashion Jewelry Fashion Jewelry IndiaStone Fashion Jewellerystone studded fashion jewelrFashion Jewellery OnlineFashion Jewelry Online Store Wholesale Jewelry Wholesale jewelryIndian Fashion JewelleryIndia Fashion Jewellery from or made in IndiaFashion JewelleryFashion Jewelry Online Store Wholesale Jewelry Wholesale jewelryArt Deco Fashion And Jewelleryart deco bracelets art deco bracelet costume jewelry fashion jewelryWholesale Fashion Jewellerywholesale fashion jewelry Jewelry crafting and tradingFashion Costume Jewelleryfashion jewelry costume fashion jewelleryChunky Fashion JewelleryChunky antique gold coloured link with baubles and cameos onlyFashion Jewellery UkFashion jewellery retailer based in the UKFashion Jewellery IndiaIndia Fashion Jewellery from or made in IndiaSilver Jewellery BoxJewelry Boxes Wooden Jewelry Boxes Antique Jewelry BoxesWholesale Fashion Costume Jewellerycostume fashion jewellery sterling silver fashion jewelryFashion Jewellery Childrens Hair Accessoriesfashion jewellery hair accessories necklaces earrings bracelets & for childrenp Please Choose a CategoryJewellery BoxOnline shopping for Jewelry Box jewelry gift box wooden jewelery boxBallerina Jewelry Boxlassic all wood Musical Ballerina Jewelry BoxHandmade JewelleryJewellery shop online selling handmade jewelleryJewellery Box UkOnline shopping for Jewelry Box jewelry gift box wooden jewelery boxPictures Jewellery BoxOnline shopping for Jewelry Box jewelry gift box wooden jewelery boxMusic Jewellery BoxOnline shopping for Jewelry Box jewelry gift box wooden jewelery boxAlabaster Jewellery BoxOnline shopping for Jewelry Box jewelry gift box wooden jewelery boxTrinket Box JewelleryOnline shopping for Jewelry Box jewelry gift box wooden jewelery boxWooden Jewellery BoxOnline shopping for Jewelry Box jewelry gift box wooden jewelery boxMy Jewellery BoxOnline shopping for Jewelry Box jewelry gift box wooden jewelery boxJewelry Gift BoxOnline shopping for Jewelry Box jewelry gift box wooden jewelery boxAntique Jewelry BoxOnline shopping for Jewelry Box jewelry gift box wooden jewelery boxMusic Jewelry BoxOnline shopping for Jewelry Box jewelry gift box wooden jewelery boxJewelry Box PlanOnline shopping for Jewelry Box jewelry gift box wooden jewelery boxBody JewelleryPiercers quality body jewelry and body jewelry tools atSilver Body JewellerySelections of sterling silver toe rings earrings ear cuffs belly clips and body piercing jewelryBody Jewellery UkSelections of sterling silver toe rings earrings ear cuffs belly clips and body piercing jewelryWholesale Body JewellerySelections of sterling silver toe rings earrings ear cuffs belly clips and body piercing jewelryBody Piercing JewellerySelections of sterling silver toe rings earrings ear cuffs belly clips and body piercing jewelryBuy Body JewellerySelections of sterling silver toe rings earrings ear cuffs belly clips and body piercing jewelry Canadian Body JewellerySelections of sterling silver toe rings earrings ear cuffs belly clips and body piercing jewelryNon Piercing Body JewellerySelections of sterling silver toe rings earrings ear cuffs belly clips and body piercing jewelryBody Cheap JewelrySelections of sterling silver toe rings earrings ear cuffs belly clips and body piercing jewelryBody Gold JewelrySelections of sterling silver toe rings earrings ear cuffs belly clips and body piercing jewelryBody Discount JewelrySelections of sterling silver toe rings earrings ear cuffs belly clips and body piercing jewelryBody Jewelry PlugSelections of sterling silver toe rings earrings ear cuffs belly clips and body piercing jewelryBody Jewelry OrganicSelections of sterling silver toe rings earrings ear cuffs belly clips and body piercing jewelryBody Jewelry TitaniumSelections of sterling silver toe rings earrings ear cuffs belly clips and body piercing jewelry

Omar Cruz said...

These articles are fantastic; the information you show us is interesting for everybody and is really good written. It’s just great!! Do you want to know something more? Read it...:Great investment opportunity in Costa Rica: jaco beach resort, best western hotel jaco beach, map jaco beach costa rica. Visit us for more info at: http://www.jaco-bay.com/