Saturday, January 20, 2007

Please give a warm welcome to Ted Nugent!

So when Ted Nugent performed at the Texas Governor’s Inaugural Ball with machine guns, a Confederate Flag T-shirt, and started shouting offensive remarks about people who don’t speak English, uh was this a surprise to anyone? This wasn’t John Davidson they hired. This was Ted Nugent, he of the biting live chickens on stage rumors.

Even if Mr. Nugent (or, as he’s also known, Sweaty Teddy, Deadly Tedly, Great Gonzos, and my personal favorite – Theodocious Atrocious) was told to just sing his big hits that would mean “Wang Dang Sweet Poontang.” Imagine starting the ladies choice dance with that?

Were the Johnny Mann Singers just unavailable that night?

Had anybody in the party planning committee read any of Mr. Nugent’s quotes? Here are two of my faves:

Gun Control: “Only a coward supports gun control. You know how to stop carjacking? Shoot the carjacker. If someone is going to kill me for my Buick, I’m gonna shoot until I’m out of ammo – and then I’ll call 911.”

Feminists: What’s a feminist anyways? A fat pig who doesn’t get it often enough?”

Charming.

Andy Williams had a gig in Branson that night?

I still can’t get over it. Ted Nugent? At the Governor’s Ball? Author of “Kill It and Grill It”. Legal guardian of a 17 year old Hawaiian girl to avoid statutory charges. The man who got a draft deferment by reporting to his draft board with a week’s worth of excrement and urine in his pants (although I’m sure Texans would still have preferred he dressed for the ball like that than sport a Confederate flag). The only thing surprising to me is that THEY were surprised.

Amy Grant wanted too much money?

Personally, I find it hilarious. Mr. Nugent has said he’s considering running for Governor of Michigan in 2010. I bet even he’s smart enough not to hire himself to sing at the Inaugural Ball.

22 comments:

Diane said...

And don't forget, circa 1979, Nugent went by "Young Ted". Unfortunately, he was the headliner at a concert at the LA Coliseum that included other bands my friend and I actually wanted to see. Then Nugent came out in a loin cloth, with "Young Ted" in lights behind him . . .

Nice to see he's still a complete ass

Anonymous said...

Whew - your knowledge of all things Nugent is impressive. Still, no reference to "Savoy Brown".

Great Big Radio Guy said...

Or Amboy Dukes.

Nugent's no Rich Little.

Dwacon said...

There is a saying, there are two types of people in Texas... Texan and foriegners...

Ah don't mess with Texas...

D. McEwan said...

Yet another reason, as if President Dubya wasn't enough all by himself, why I think Lincoln made a terrible mistake not just letting the Confederacy, especially Texas, go ahead and secede. If Davy Crockett had had a lick of sense, he'd never have gone near The Alamo. Why die to OBTAIN Texas? Let Mexico have it! Then Disney could have had the sequel they were hungry for back in 1955.

What surprises me is that anyone in Texas objected to any aspect of Ted's show. wasn't this, more or less, a typical Texan inaugual ball? But I think Michegan might have sent Ted along with a note saying: "You can have him, but you have to keep him."

How did the late, great Ann Richards ever get elected there?

poodle head said...

you invite a geek and he'll probably bite the heads off your chickens.

the elephant in the room is "why are they inviting geeks?"

because it's a GROWTH INDUSTRY!

if you say you're ashamed where the president is from or that he exploited 9/11 you will be taken to the woodshed. If you're on the other team you can chew with your mouth open and wax your BUTT in public.

Emily Blake said...

They would have saved time if they'd just listened to Goldfinger.

They wrote a song called "Fuck Ted Nugent."

For some reason they also loathe Jennifer Lopez.

Jack Ruttan said...

Considering who's been elected, he's in with a landslide.

rw said...

A draft deferment for a "week's worth of excrement" sounds about right, for a chicken shit chickenhawk.

Mike Barer said...

If Terrible runs for Michighan governor, I have no doubt which party he'll represent.

OhioRuthie said...

Nugent is an evil man with too much money. Fencing in animals...charging people to "hunt" them...canned hunting at its best. A psycho with money is always a dangerous thing.

TCinLA said...

That Rick Perry is not only friends with Ted Nugent but publicly associates with that sub-human piece of dried excrement says everything you need to know about Texass Republicans - the truly loony wing of the Southern Looneytunes Party formerly known as the GOP.

wkmaier said...

Ha! Nugent is a yellow-bellied coward. All bluster, no muster.

I'm quite amused that this no-talent hack gets as much attention as he does.

Oh wait. "Has-been".

All the above is JUST IN CASE Teddy happens upon this site.

Mary Stella said...

Unfortunately, I saw Nugent as the opening act for a country superstar whose music I love. The lyrics to one of his songs, while largely unintelligible because he screamed them over ear-splitting guitar, ran something along the likes of, "John Kerry is a whore. The Dixie Chicks are whores. Jesse Jackson is a whore. Democrats are whores." along with suggestions that they should get effed and other pleasantries. For his finale, he took his crossbow and shot an arrow into a lifesize cutout of Saddam Hussein.

Not my entertainment of choice. We counted the minutes until his set was over.

Seymour said...

Ah Ted Nugent, Master Showman. If only this were England, and he could be knighted. Sir Ted Nugent, humanitarian, animal conservationist, arcehry marksman, and living example of how much the insane can accomplish.

And we're all CERTAIN this Nugent person is real,and not just another one of Sacha Baron Cohen's sly characters?

Seymour said...

That's "archery marksman", of course. Sorry.

Ryan said...

"How did the late, great Ann Richards ever get elected there?"

The guy she ran against refused to shake her hand, which wasn't very gentlemanly.

Of course, at the time Ann Richards was elected, there had only been one Republican governor since Reconstruction.

And it's only been since 2004 that the Republicans have controlled the Legislature. And here in Dallas County, the 20 year reign of pretty solid Republican rule ended in November with a near-Democratic sweep.

Also, GWB? Not from Texas. You have to be born here to be able to claim you're from here. That's a long-standing rule too many people let the President get away with violating.

Ryan said...

Now that I think about it, it may have been '02 that the Republicans gained control of the Texas Legislature.

"Fair and Balanced" Dave said...

There must be about a million guitar players in Texas who can play rings around the vastly over-rated Nuge.

For instance, this guy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_jwCETqFRM

TrueAmerican2112 said...

You ignorant ,uptight. elite jerks are so busy worrying about Ted playing this show and you have no idea why this country is so great.It's great because of people like Ted Nugent who stands up and says what he believes. It's because of people like Ted Nugent that this country might actually survive.If you actually knew Ted, instead of speculating and accusing him of things you dont know about, you would see what a great American he really is! Ted Nugent loves his country and appreciates it more than you people ever could. People like you just complain and cry an whine about every little thing in this country, Ted is living tha American dream and he is doing many great things with his fame and fortune instead of just wasting it away like so many others.So what if he has done something you dissapprove of, are you all angels? He has a camp for kids, he teaches people to hunt responsibly, he wont even give an autograph unless you donate $100.00 to the kids camp! And ,he sticks up for our country like no other. You people should be ashamed, youre way worse than what you THINK Ted is all about.

Anonymous said...

Like the coward he's always been, Nugent only shoots at things that can't possibly shoot back. That's why he didn't go to Nam, and that's why, gung-ho as he is about war, he won't be going to Iraq with his colossal gun collection.
Also, he's said a zillion times how much he hates hippies, yet he spent years porking an endless series of hippie chicks. He has hippie "love-juice" all over him.

Anonymous said...

3/19/12
RobGems.ca wrote:
I'm from Michigan, and I remember "Crazy Ted" back in the days when he was fronting a local group called The Lourds. That was 1965, long before he became famous, and he didn't seem too political or nutty as he seems today.Perhaps fame and success has made him blind with power madness over the decades, and as he grows older, he grows more ignorant.Remember, Ted wasn't the lead voice on The Amboy Dukes, he was the lead gutarist, and Steven Farmer was the lead vocalist, and the main songwriter of their only national hit, "Journey To The Center Of the Mind."(although Ted does get co-songwriting credit for his guitar licks ripped from Jimi Hendrix, sort of like Mike Love always mooching co-writing credits off of Brian Wilson.) Ted didn't even think the "Journey" song was possibly about drugs, but mind expansion(?1?)Whenever I see Crazy Ted nowadays, he's usually kissing Sean Hannity's rear end, or sucking up to Bill O'Reily like the putz that he is. Now that Dubuya is out of office, you'd expect O'l crazy Ted to go away, but nooooooo! Texas can keep him. He's too crazy for even the crazys we have in Michigan! Like, we're still stuck with the likes of an aging Iggy Pop & Bob Seger wanna-be Kid Rock.