Thursday, January 04, 2007

LOST HOUSE 24 Part II

Continuing my first season of LOST HOUSE 24, a combination of all three series. Part one was yesterday if you missed it.

12 am – 1 am
In the hatch an old training film is found. It’s an introduction to the Dharma Initiative, hosted by Jenna Elfman. Back at camp, House and Charlie break open a few ceramic Virgin Marys and toke up together. Doc cuts down Kate from the hunter’s net. Reluctantly.

1 am – 2 am
On his trip back to camp Jack stumbles upon a Survivor tribal council (SURVIVOR 14: WE’VE DONE EVERY ISLAND BUT THIS ONE AND CATALINA). Jack senses disharmony in the tribe and asks if anyone is not pulling their fair share. Nobody talks. He makes them talk. House and Sawyer now make fat jokes at preggo Sun’s expense.

2 am - 3 am
Just everyone's luck it's time to turn the clocks ahead one hour. Nothing happens this hour.

3 am – 4 am
Jin is deathly ill but House can’t treat him because he doesn’t know any Korean diseases. Jack gets call from weepy Audrey. Can he help her? She’s trapped in the cast of THE NINE. He asks if she’d send a rescue party. She flies into a rage, claiming all he cares about is himself. Mr. Eko, who up until now, hasn’t said a word, tells Jack to dump the bitch.

4 am – 5 am
Jack discovers Sayid is a terrorist and tells him the biggest threat to Al Queda is Audrey and she should be killed immediately. Sayid puts that on his to-do list. For fun the camp holds a “House look-alike” contest and Fenry (formerly Henry) wins. Then they realize he’s one of the “Others”. The rest of the “Others” ambush the camp. Sun, in her seventh month, has to use the bathroom every five minutes.

5 am – 6 am
Jack, Doc, and Sawyer are taken hostage. When Kate learns they’re to be put in cages she volunteers. Flashback: Spiritual seeking Locke realizes that Scientology is too weird even for him.

6 am – 7 am
Doc is held in a glass cell where “Other” member, Juliet tries to win his confidence by telling him WE ARE MARSHALL was not that bad. Jack kills seven of his captors. Everyone enjoys a stunning sunrise.

7 am – 8 am
Sayid leads a search party but stops on the beach to participate in the Survivor reward challenge. The LOST gang wins. They’re all given fishing equipment and bandanas they can sell later on eBay. Meanwhile, Doc learns that the evil Fenry needs an operation and only he can perform it. Doc tells him House is a better surgeon so the “Others” set out to get him instead. Jack shoots Juliet in the knee because, well…because he can.

8 am – 9 am
Morning aerobics back at the camp. The excited search party returns with their winnings. House has snorted his seventh ceramic Virgin Mary. When the “Others” come to get him he thinks they are the Pirates of the Caribbean but goes along with them anyway.

9 am – 10 am
Jack tries to talk Kate into joining CTU with the promise that she would be tied up, thrown in cages, and handcuffed a lot. House arrives. Takes one look at Juliet’s shattered knee and determines it’s a brain aneurism. There are a string of broken Virgin Marys along the trail. The “Others” still want Doc to operate. He makes Fenry show him proof of insurance.

10 am – 11 am
Doc operates. But cuts an artery. He makes a deal with the “Others”. If they free the LOST gang he’ll let Fenry live. They agree. But no one tells Jack. He blows up the compound. Ooops. Doc was inside.

11 am – 12 pm
The LOST gang returns to the campsite. House delivers Sun’s baby. Mistakes it for a large tumor. Locke takes away the ceramic Virgin Marys. House counters by writing himself a prescription then realizes he’s 3,000 miles away from the nearest pharmacy. He borrows Jack’s phone, calls CVS begs them to deliver. Jack feels guilty for killing Doc. But everyone celebrates the cycle of life so hugs and warm feelings all around. Jack doesn’t let the blood on his hands keep him from being thrilled to be a father again. He vows that this time things will be different. Goes to the cradle only to discover that the baby has been kidnapped.

CLIFFHANGER

Continued next season

14 comments:

maven said...

First!

Ken: This is soooo funny. I'm just a huge Lost fan, so I'm sure a lot of the 24/House stuff went over my head, but you've definitely got the gist of Lost!

Dwacon said...

Hey, I saw you on TV Land. You were the handsome one... :-)

gregory huffstutter said...

That is funny sh*t. Next I want you to combine Studio 60 with Criminal Minds and Men In Trees.

Patrick Walsh said...

This

Eric said...

Brilliant! For Season 2, can we have guest appearances from the cast of Heroes? (We know Hiro and Nathan Petrelli won't have a problem getting there, anyway.)

Jesse Wendel said...

*cracks up*

Next, may we have Studio 60, Heroes, and Battlestar Galactica?

Because I want to see Starbuck punching out Bradley Whitford's Matt Albie, while the Cheerleader is revealed as a Cylon!

*smiles sweetly*

Jesse Wendel said...

Sorry, that should read as: Bradley Whitford's Danny Tripp

Sorry about that. I just want to see Starbuck knock him silly the first time he opens his smart-ass mouth.

Anonymous said...

awesome, like a hundred-thousand hot dogs

Emily Blake said...

Oh yeah, baby! That's the stuff. Don't ever stop.

Anonymous said...

This is the best! It's comforting to know that someone out there hates Audrey as much as I do. Well done!

Andrew said...

Not bad, but I was anxiously awaiting the required scene where House desperately begs an apathetic Sawyer for the stash of Vicodin hidden under his tent.

Paty said...

Great stuff! LMAO here, because those are some of my favorite shows. Now I'm just waiting for Grey's Anatomy guys and girls to show up! (What about Doc, the dog, to replace Vincent? :D)

House and Sawyer fighting for Vicodin? There's something I'd like to see..

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