Saturday, January 13, 2007

Writing a spec 24

Re-posted and revised from last year.

Loved the comment by Mik wondering if anybody ever wrote a spec “24”. I can just see the rejection letter:

Thank you for your script “5:00 – 6:00 P.M.” Unfortunately it does not fit our needs. There were a number of choices you made that suggest you’re not really familiar with our show. On page 12 you have Jack eating. No one ever eats. You also refer to take-out cartons strewn all over CTU. For future reference, only agents and approved personnel are given security clearance to CTU, not Domino Pizza boys. We pride ourselves on reality. On page 16 you have Jack saying he needs to use the bathroom. Why not a manicure? We have no time for such frivolous activities.

Pay careful attention to the clock. You have Curtis driving out to Simi Valley from headquarters downtown in 52 minutes. Everyone knows, at that hour of the day, it only takes 10 minutes, 13 if there’s heavy traffic.

Not once in your script did you have anyone say, “Just let me do my job!” I almost didn’t recognize it as a “24”.

When Jack calls Chloe and says, “Get me those coordinates now or 10,000,000 people will die!” you don’t need Chloe answering, “I know. I’m not a fucking moron. You told me that three times already!”

When the CTU staff learns that Jack’s daughter Kim has been kidnapped you have them all cheering. I don’t think they would do that. They would merely smile knowingly to each other.

And finally, I didn’t find your jeopardy –- Jack trying to prevent Hurricane Katrina -- plausible. Better to stick with crazed foreigners who bought nuclear weapons on ebay and plan to blow up the world because they couldn’t get a parking space at the Grove. Always think realism!

Thank you again for your submission. Although it is wildly uneven and stretches credibility far beyond what any audience would accept I am forwarding it to THE UNIT.


Sam Thornton said...

Blindingly hilarious. Thank you. Please give us more.

Anonymous said...

I barely made it through season 1. I will not be watching tomorrow. But everything I know about the show lets me appreciate this, because when it comes down to it, thats all the show is.

Sadly, 24 sucks.

Anonymous said...

No SteveA,

You suck.

Anonymous said...

No, anonymous, you.....

Wait a minute. What were we talking about? ;)

Hennell said...

>What were we talking about?

Try calling up the logs, you'll find exactly what you need within seconds.

(Unless they were talking about one of the eight moles in CTU; Then you'll only find it when they've accomplished 90% of their plan.)

Diane said...

I just want to know what type of cell phone Jack carries and who is carrier is - - 24 hours of almost constant use with no re-charging and no dead spots

John Stodder said...

I guess the Chinese gave him back his cell phone when they released him from two years of torture. This must be in the Geneva Convention. Either that, or he managed to steal a cellphone from that poor guy in the white truck that happened to have all the numbers Jack needs pre-programmed.