Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Checking in on THE SNOBS

Self serving program note: I will be broadcasting tonight's Seattle Mariners game on both radio (KOMO Seattle, XM, and MLB.com) and on television (FSN Northwest). I will do this without the benefit of Eric Brynes and his dog in a kayak outside the stadium in the bay. Wish me luck.

Thanks for the very positive reaction to the scene from our pilot, THE SNOBS that I shared recently. Here’s that post in case you missed or purposely skipped it.
So I’m posting more.

Quick refresher: THE SNOBS was a pilot we did a few years ago for Fox. It starred Paget Brewster about a family of snobs that lived in very modest surroundings. Karl is a professor at a community college dying to get hired by Stanford. His very prim wife, Beverly (Paget) is the admissions director of an exclusive private school. In the pilot, Karl has invited over Dr. Shapiro, the dean of history at Stanford (and his ticket out). This is Karl’s chance to impress.

At the same time Karl’s bastard teenage son (the result of a one night fling with a stripper in New Orleans) arrives. Karl ushers him into the kitchen as we pick up the scene:


INT. LIVING ROOM

DR. SHAPIRO
Karl, I have a question. Your curriculum vitae stated only two children.

KARL
Yes, that’s true. Clay is not my child with Beverly.

DR. SHAPIRO
Oh, I see. You were married before.

KARL
Uh no, I wasn’t.

DR. SHAPIRO
Oh… So you had a child out of wedlock?

KARL
(FLUSTERED) Well… no. Of course not. He’s really Beverly’s.

DR. SHAPIRO
(TO BEVERLY) Oh, the boy is your son?

BEVERLY
Uh, yes. Before Karl and I were married, I was involved elsewhere and had Clay. He’s lived with his real dad all these years.

KARL
His father was a senator.

BEVERLY
Now, Karl, don’t brag. Could I see you in the kitchen?

RESET TO:

INT. KITCHEN – CONTINUOUS

KARL AND BEVERLY ENTER. CLAY IS AT THE TABLE EATING.

BEVERLY
Karl, are you daft?!

SHE SEES CLAY.

BEVERLY
Excuse me can we have a little privacy here for a moment?

CLAY
Oh, sure. By the way, beautiful kitchen. Is somebody in this house gay?

KARL
Why does everyone think that? Just because a man has a flair for the finer things in life, doesn’t automatically make him gay.

CLAY
Oh, this is waaaay more than a flair.

CLAY EXITS TO THE LIVING ROOM.

BEVERLY
My God, Karl, what were you thinking? He’s my son?!

CLAY
You heard Shapiro’s tone. I couldn’t admit that Clay was my illegitimate son. How does that look? What does that say about my character?

BEVERLY
What does it say about mine?! I’m the mother who abandoned him!

KARL
Ooooh, wasn’t thinking. Bev, this is Stanford! This is position. This is money. All the things we say we have? We’ll actually have!

BEVERLY
(DISGUSTED) Karl, there are some things money can’t buy. Like someone’s dignity.

KARL
How about a BMW?

BEVERLY
I want the Z-4.

KARL
Done.

THEY BOTH EXIT BACK INTO THE LIVING ROOM.

RESET TO:

INT. LIVING ROOM – CONTINUOUS

CLAY HAS MADE HIMSELF AT HOME ON THE COUCH WITH THE SHAPIROS AS KARL AND BEVERLY ENTER. THEY HEAR:

CLAY
Oh yeah, my mom used to be a stripper.

THE SHAPIROS LOOK TO BEVERLY.

BEVERLY
Oh God. (SOTTO, TO KARL) Now I’m a stripper?

More tomorrow.

20 comments:

damon said...

Just recently started reading your blog and so I caught up on the first part of the script. I really like the idea and agree with a previous comment saying it sounds like a family of Frasier and Niles'.

I can't wait to read more!

The Crutnacker said...

Love the use of "curriculum vitae". Although don't really annoying people say CV instead?

I had a snooty friend who told me he was working on his CV one time and all I could think was "this is the LAST guy I could see talking to truckers".

My father did once apply for a management position at a new Wal-Mart (at a time when he was out of work and could not find a job ANYWHERE) and have the person doing the hiring say "What's that?" when he told him he had a resume.

Marvin Gardener said...

It's really obvious this didn't get picked up and instead we get brilliant shows about cave men instead.

Or was that supposed to be the other way around?

Will Teullive said...

DR. SHAPIRO
A stripper really?

BEVERLY
Paint

DR. SHAPIRO
Come again?

BEVERLY
I used to work as a paint stripper rehabbing old houses

CLAY
I once walked in while she was sanding and priming dad

DR. SHAPIRO
I think I’ve heard enough..

Anonymous said...

Eh.

Mary Stella said...

Ken, even though this show did not get picked up a couple of years ago, do you ever consider re-pitching if it looks like trends or "themes" etc. have changed? Those short scenes made me laugh more than any "new" sitcom I've recently watched. I know I'd tune in for more.

Anonymous said...

Will T. scores! Excellent.

SharoneRosen said...

Oh.. THAT'S what good writing is... I'd all but forgotten.

Can't wait for more!

Vman said...

A little too traditional sitcommy for my taste, I feel like I've heard it before, still I'm going through an Arrested Development phase right now, so all other comedy just pales in comparison.

mikeinseattle said...

Ken in the first inning tonight:

"maybe the most exciting play in baseball: the spin around."

Brilliant.

Wally said...

Deeply enjoyed the first few innings of play-by-play, especially the animal welfare concern for Brynesy's (as Jeannie Zelasko call him) dog. And as Mets fan, I agree with the concern over the new hitting coach! ("Ricky's thrilled to teach Shawn Green how to be like Ricky.") But the XM seems to have feed crapped out in the middle of the third. Not good.

Author X said...

Holy crap, I am watching the M's broadcast and they just announced that Ken is about to come on after the break. Viva la Ken!!!!

Author X said...

He is on TV with Valle!! He is wearing another mans clothes!! He sounds less nerdy!!

Paul Duca said...

I was at the MLB.com feed...apparently at the midpoint they switch from Ken and KOMO to the Tigers' crew.

And X...can you even see Ken's feet? I don't understand why the shoes would matter--aren't you tucked behind a desk, Ken?

Author X said...

M's win!! M's win!!

Cap'n Bob Napier said...

Damn, I thought I'd scoop everyone else by saying I just saw you on TV, but there were a bunch of guys ahead of me. You're popular, Ken. Good broadcast, too. How many games have you calle where a guy got to third after striking out?

Mike Barer said...

Ken, my little post on your Mariner work got lots of hits: http://mvbarer.blogspot.com/2007/07/old-friend-ken-levine-returns-to.html

Mr. Peel said...

It's very funny, but I say this is all just an excuse to keep posting pictures of Paget Brewster.

Which is just fine to me.

Anonymous said...

Welcome back to Seattle!

I agree with your concerns of Ricky Henderson as the Mets new batting coach... I can here him at the cage:

"Ricky says nice job getting your hands through"

"Ricky don't like your stance. You gotta crouch like Ricky"

"Ricky says see the ball, hit the ball"

... After a season with Ricky, the Mets might need a dose of Tom Emanski videos.

It's great to hear you broadcasting Mariner's games again!

Anonymous said...

Ken --

It was great to have you back in the Mariners' broadcast booth! I'm a huge fan and it was a really pleasant surprise to switch on the radio and hear you again after all these years. I told my wife I thought I had gone to baseball heaven when I first heard your voice.

Great work tonight -- I hope you'll make many more returns.

A big fan in Spokane