Friday, December 14, 2007

Explaining the playoff picture

This is the time of year when the NFL playoff picture gets very muddy. But I have managed to simplify it for you. So, to clear up any confusion…

If Detroit beats San Diego and St. Louis beats Green Bay and Baltimore beats Miami then Indianapolis would have home field advantage but New England would have a bye and Washington would get the first wild card spot unless Carolina beats Seattle and San Diego beats Detroit and then Cleveland would have the first wild card spot while Arizona gets the other and Indianapolis gets a bye but must play their remaining playoff games on the road unless their second round opponent is Pittsburgh and Pittsburgh beats St. Louis next Thursday while Chicago beats Minnesota on Monday.

But if Minnesota wins and Seattle loses by more than 20 points then the Giants would be the first wild card or the second wild card if the Jets lose to New England, in which case Detroit would be the second wild card but in the other division. But if Tampa Bay beats Atlanta then Detroit would move to the AFC and Jacksonville would get their choice of either the AFC, NFC or NBA. And Miami would be eliminated from next year’s playoffs, Dallas would have to play all Monday night games on Tuesday, and Kansas City would become Tennessee but only if Buffalo upsets Cleveland and Oakland upsets Indianapolis in which case New England would get two byes, and Cincinnati would lose home field advantage for all home games and New Orleans would get the second wild card spot assuming they don’t already have it, in which case the Giants would not have it even though they thought they did and San Francisco would get the first pick in the draft.

I hope that clears it up for you.

You’re welcome.

20 comments:

The Crutnacker said...

Thanks Ken.

Now, can you explain the BCS to me?

And how does Bobby Petrino fit into all of this?

RAC said...

I'll bet you can't say that backwards and in heels.

Sebastian said...

Now explain University Football to me and who "won" the last couple of years and why sometimes teams with more losses than others get to play a "bowl" and others don't?

kthxbye

^^;

Michael Jones said...

Who's the Quarterback, What's the name of the Wide Receiver and I Don't Know is the Punter.

A. Buck Short said...

Can I mention I now have a headache?

Now Crutnacker, watch how we steal this shot, so you don't have to go back to the museum thread for this reply.
The Crutnacker said...
Maker's is my favorite Bourbon. I keep saying I'll go tour their facilities, but I hate having my head dipped in wax. [That's how they seal the caps.]
Yes, I was introduced to Maker's Mark by Jim Toole, then of the KY film commission. As drink tends to affect one's memory, Jim had to "introduce" me to the beverage over and over again.

Those facilities can indeed be hazardous. After a tour of the Molson Brewery in Toronto, everyone was informed I'd contracted a yeast infection.

Here's the segue from you wax back to the museum blog. Our "Palace of Wax" is the successor to Mme. Tussauds that was destroyed in a fire [honest]. But the cause of combustion was absolutely not my July 4 sketch where removing the tri-cornered hats of the signers of the Declaration of Independence revealed lighted wicks. Then everybody would blow our founding fathers out and sing Happy Birthday to the country. No green light.

Mary Stella. Lorena Bobbitt would like you to call her.

Catherine said...

Wow, clearer mud!

GO SEAHAWKS!!!

Jake Hollywood said...

And if the Jets beat the Pats there'll be a Congressional investigation...

Michael said...

What if the Texans have a winning (or even .500) season for the first time? Should people keep complaining about how they took Mario Williams over Reggie Bush and Vince Young? Take 2007 out of context (forget about 2006) and maybe, yeah, but if you look at 2006, then hell yes they should have taken Vince. What's the statute of limitations on holding a grudge against your home town team for a draft pick you think they blew?

Houston should have taken Vince, regardless of how he's doing this year.

DrBear said...

No matter what happens, I can guarantee Los Angeles will not host a playoff game.

VP81955 said...

Ken just explained why I'm more of a college football fan.

A. Buck Short said...

Hey who says you can’t have a great performance without PED’s? The most enjoyable football game I ever went to was the 1985 AFC divisional playoff between the Patriots and Raiders at the LA Coliseum. Actually, I think we were only playing the Raiders in one direction. In the other direction it looked pretty much like we were up against Samoa.

Don’t let anybody ever tell you that you can’t have it both ways. I had flown in from Boston. Beautiful sunny day. Saw the grace of Marcus Allen in person. Pats won 27-20. And as a bonus, on the way out of the stadium, we got to see Howie Long deck Pat Sullivan, the Patriots owner’s kid, for celebrating a little too enthusiastically. (Even with a winning season, nobody in Boston could stand Billy Sullivan, so flooring his kid at least earned a couple of carbon credits.) It was a beautiful thing to see, Pangloss’s best of all possible worlds.

Ken, you will know right away where this is heading. The only spoiler was finding a parking ticket on the rental car windshield. All of the locals were picking up a little extra cash, waving people in to park on their front lawns – as we had assumed they did for every Coliseum event. When I complained that I had paid cash-money for the privilege,the cop responded, “What are you nuts? You can’t park on people’s lawns.” In hindsight, I’m guessing it probably wasn’t even the guy’s own house.

tb said...

Now you sound like Al Michaels Ken

Cap'n Bob Napier said...

And you can throw that all out if you get the officials who miscalled the Seahawk-Steelers fiasco. They'll just choose who they want to win before the game starts and make sure they do.

Catherine said...

Cap'n Bob - Amen to that. I am a Seahawks girl from a Seahawks family and I can't tell you how upset we were about that. It did help that the whole world, including Ben Roethlisberger (see the episode of David Letterman following the Superbowl that year), agreed with us.

Ryan said...

Brilliant.

Mary Stella said...

Wow, Ken, what an involved formula they have for knowing which teams are in the playoffs. Here I thought they just wrote all of the teams with the best records on pieces of paper, posted them on a corkboard and threw darts to determine bye weeks, home field advantages, etc.

Judging from your in depth explanation, there's only one thing I can be sure of right now. My Eagles aren't in the running.

I already knew that. :-(

Murph said...

Ken,

The 49ers first round draft pick belongs to the New England Patriots (who lost their actual first round pick in the videotaping scandal; once again, they luck out). Just to add to your breakdown there.

Karen said...

Heh. It's like Tom Lehrer's "New Math."

A. Buck Short said...

I don't know what I'm finding harder to get my head around: that Tom Lehrer will be 80 next year, or that he invented Jello Shots (go ahead, look it up).

Anonymous said...

Football sucks.

Farve is on HGH, as is 75% of the leauge, at least.