PUNHARRI: The ancient ritual of killing bad jokesI think we have another contest. You guys have come up with some great definitions based on your comment verification codes. For those who don’t read the comments, you’re missing out. Some great stuff in there. (And don’t think I’m threatened because some of you sons a bitches are funnier than I am.)
But your definitions are just too good not to be rewarded. So in the spirit of the Komedy Kontest, I’m hereby starting another competition. The best word verification daffy definition. Since it’s luck of the draw what the combination of letters will be for you I think it’s only fair to keep the initial entry period open longer than the Komedy Kontest. So phase one will end at 9:00 PM PST on Thursday. That gives you six days.
Like before, I will have someone else select the top five and you guys will vote for the final winner. Better to hate someone you don't know rather than me.
“Yeah, yeah”, you’re saying, “But what the hell do I WIN? It better be GREAT!”
It will be hard to top the Komedy Kontest grand prize -- a signed AfterMASH script – but I think I’ve done it.
The winner of the Daffy Definition Kontest will receive…
Are you ready?
A signed copy of MIDNIGHT, one of our very best unproduced pilots! Talk about rare! Talk about special! Talk about a show that should have been made! This one is it! And it includes the official Paramount Studios script cover, just like the one rejected by CBS.
Some Kontest rules:
Enter as many times as you’d like.
You must give your name.
You’re on the honor system. But judges have the right to throw out any entry they feel is not legitimate.
Please do not comment on other entries until the final five are chosen.
Decision of the judges is final.
You must be a citizen of some country in order to apply. Doesn't have to be the US but some country.
You are not required to listen to my Sunday night radio show from 7-10 PST on Talkradio 790 KABC even though it streams live on the internet.
Best of luck, everyone. Let the punharri begin!
788 comments :
«Oldest ‹Older 601 – 788 of 788Solly - an aporogy.
somingla - A compulsive disorder in which one stays awake until the wee hours of the morning coming up with definitions of bogus words randomly generated by a computer.
dumbox - What an annoyed blog reader might call someone afflicted with somingla. (see above)
mantoe - Real name of actor Randolph Mantooth.
trush - Yiddish for 'plumber's crack'.
spinat - artificial spinach dessert topping.
reedup - Slogan from Snoop Dogg's literacy campaign.
extrava - not quite a ganza.
Straz: Someone who thinks it will make them cool if they give themselves a wankish name like Straz.
defleu - what you must open in order for desmoke to go up dechimney.
rerci - How Scooby-Do says thanks in France.
awspu - what happens when you realize you should have worn that adult diaper
perpe - trying to figure your volume of urine per visit to the bathroom
vskilsiv - tzxcvsde yuiop lkyx wityl!
unsotia - The process the Angels will go through if they fire their Manager.
wings - Early seventies music group that sucked the soul out of Paul McCartney.
fuluking - a sexual practice involving[REMAINDER OF DEFINITION REDACTED]
lascow - 1: The final bovine. 2: The official cow of the Los Angeles Dodgers.
eximo - A former Inuit.
habilene - Abilene Kansas Housing Authority.
Okay, I'll stop now. (this is like crack. Not that I know what crack is like.)
sperro: too obvious?
1: type of watch worn by Micky Mouse
2:small bird armed with primative javalin type weapon
Resseril - (n.)
A suppository form of Xanax.
How will you ever narrow the list down to five finalists, Ken?
gedbul: High energy drink while you cram for your high school equivalency test.
nonitely: Sex only a couple of times a week.
cupate - CUE payt (v.)
The highly developed skill of surreptiously picking one's nose and disposing of the harvest in a busy workplace or restaurant.
asickin: Protest by determined, if less than healthy, individuals
Mensiva: Organisation for the intelligent yet forgetful.
motigu: what you get when a car ejaculates
dervato: veto in German
gonskin: the aftermath of a circumcision
ennit: Michael Caine trying to get you to agree that his "phing" is magnificent.
Calom- yo-yo dieter
Scrent:
Mother-in-Law
latenta:
An unexpected complaint when disaster has been averted and something accomplished that exceeds your expectation.
A nitpicker.
pronone:
A noun which indicates a nihilist.
Christopher Hitchens.
Anact:
A series of sequences inserted in a script because Michael Hauge or Robert McKee says it should be there.
Redlos:
Result of a game played at the Great American Ballpark.
suricing:
Something that is implied to be under the surface of a cake.
exogat:
(archaic) an unconcealed weapon.
androgi: An ambiguous Dodgers Fan
disso: What I usually get when I hit on a girlo
curaterd: What is the telethon you are least likely see on TV
Tomano: Ray Romano's latest line of vegetable products
UPLARES:
What you yell when told Lare insulted you.
vasore: An excuse a woman gives for not having sex
TIONALLY:
If you don't think RA-, you'll probably react EMO-
Ovello: Shakespearean-inspired Sequel to "The Vagina Monologues"
kinglyte:
The head of state in a teensy-weensy little-bitty country.
sabutl: giving the child star of THE THIEF OF BAGHDAD equal time
oustice - Getting your case kicked out of court.
undism:
The sun worshipping practice of naked dyslexics.
tomwmari: the day after the day before a wedding
guffis: a pack of talking Disney dogs (as distinct from "plutoes", a pack of Disney mute dogs)
obbeabi - A lame enthusiasm used on a date during backseat convolutions. How about a, "Hell yeah!" for Pete's sake! - No honey, I didn't call you Pete.
exers: People who do not understand what the close button is for in their Internet browsers.
mensian - A person who thinks they know everything - just ask them.
hedsoids: Medical condition that pops up from straining ones brain too hard trying to write a funny definition.
sanoncy--serial anonymity
makel -- mayk-el
What Superman's father does in the loo.
colebut: You've heard of "cottage cheese thighs"? A little north you will find a larger part of the anatomy that looks like a bowl of cole slaw.
exilli - What the Governor of Illinois will soon be.
(ok, I'm back. It's a slow day at work.)
talitick - Afghani bedbug.
Comeezi - W's pet name for Condeleeza Rice.
poidshe: the mummified remains of the character Rachel Welch played in One Million Years,BC, recently unearthed in the La Brea Tar Pits
bedea: according to Greek mythology, where Jason's wife slept.
suckpio - latest model of the C3PO android, and sure to be the most popular.
brogal - when your brother is like a sister to you
suries - collective name for female children of Scientologists.
stali: Uncle Joe's sister
oppert: a cheerful surgical nurse
sectr: a downsized typist
Gampalin
The allure which got Sarah Palin nominated as a vice-presidential candidate. That wink! Those gams! Oh my!
Congratulatory huzzah at the Republican convention. (A derogatory term thereafter.)
Sysms
Spasm in all body systems resulting in a horrifying display of projectile body fluids from all orifi. Watch for it on the next House.
Wrenati: Cult-like group dedicated to realizing architect Christopher Wren's Utopian designs for London by setting fire to buildings they dislike in the hopes something better will be built.
Feehor: Sound Secret Service agents hear coming from President Bush's bedroom when Laura's in a bad mood and has taken the plunger handle to bed with her. Again.
Dyablize:
To make diaobolical (usage restricted to Jimmy "J.J." Walker)
Squetsh:
Well, I never! I thought this was a Family Blog. How dare your blog spell obscenities at me
cerob-an injury to the brain, causing significant losses in the cerebellum.
whisha-What a genie on "The Sopranos" grants
Well, since so many of you are tuffing the ballot box, here goes.
desse. That part of de test that involves a lot of writing.
gonde. What Ghandi was after he was shot.
reductur: someone who is losing weight by covering his mouth with duct tape.
mismsa: a Mensa reject.
nimum: a small cloud.
spode: not a full episode.
inaut: Eskimo for "I know it."
calinsit: excercising while sitting.
Inster - the scandal-ridden Tennessee town which gave us the word "InsterGate".
exterful
Acronym for "exquisite, terrific, wonderful." Used only in an ironic sense: "That was the most exterful show I've seen since AfterMASH."
!@%?$#&**!
Man. Y’all gotta check out the wv’s on the Cartoon Network. I think this one was from Al Capp.
Daffynition: Kiss my stimulus package???
INGUINGS: a technical term for what is colloquially known as "the innards."
The doctor shook his head sadly, and announced, "It doesn't look good. The inguings will have to come out."
PS the posts on this contest are hilarious! Kudos to all!
and, Group therapy for all!
minchili - new canned chili product for infants and toddlers. Brought to you by Hormel Foods... and Pampers.
gasho - Truckstop hooker.
sinapha - Bollywood crooner.
yanter - a really annoying canter.
elvishal - Elvis-shawl. What Elvis would be handin' to the ladies if he was still alive.
rerubs - a raincheck at the massage parlor.
interat - /in-ter-rat/ (n.) The rat that fills in when the rat in your garage goes on maternity leave.
backfusn - /bak-few-zhen/ (n.) The resultant mess in Einstein's trousers when he found out what the military wanted to do with the atom.
eorsub - /eyor-sub/ (n.) What sank Pooh's battleship.
Morqu - /mork/ (n.) The real name of Mindy's roommate before 9/11 made Muslim names unpopular.
oblus: First-year Latin word (oblus, oblis, oblium, oblorum, obladi, oblada)
Czdkven: Zeljko Ivanek's name before he changed it
junsk: Foul Smelling or misshapen genitalia on the male or female anatomy.
usage: "I had to think of a reason to leave when we got naked and I found her junk was junsk.
imbat:
blin as a bat
wingyru:
the pang of regret one feels reaching up into your hair and realizing that that flock of birds you just walked under left you a 'gift'.
blobst - /BLOB-st/ noun: what Jeff Probst became after eating one too many banished "Survivors".
khaliga /KAL-ig-ga/ proper noun: Iraqi-based stand-up comic of the 1980's, known for smashing cous-cous with a giant sledgehammer.
sprop: The small tab of aluminum you are left holding after trying unsuccesfully to open a can of soda
qualit /KWAL-it/ nou: wel -mad an constructe , wit a fin attentio t detai . Usag : "A For , Qualit i jo numbe on ."
taftiou: What you get for loaning our 27th President money
fules: people who pay fifteen cents a gallon more for gas rather than make an inconvenient, time consuming U-Turn to get to a cheaper gas station
agalaphy: that numb, pins and needles sensation you feel when your girlfriend falls asleep for hours with her head in your lap
allast: A medical condition used to describe the sound Etta James makes immediately after biting her tongue.
quillypo: the common practice of using suction to remove unwanted fat from an 18th century writing instrument
Flapiti: The unfortunate effects of gravity on an aging woman's bustline.
entdrosi: clinical term for the debilitating effect caused by prolonged exposure to According to Jim.
andethe: An unrecorded moment of a historic event; refers to Julias Ceasar's follow-up question upon being stabbed.
cometl: Yiddish term for a celestial body.
blessec: a brand of pickles brined in holy water
QUADSQUA: What 6 year old police get around in.
(Byron Jones)
conabbl: one who eats prisoners
recusub: voluntarily disqualifying oneself as an underwater vessel
Barfura: the failed Italian sports car designed for Bulimia patients
scroute: a nasty rash caused by excessive nut scratching
cylia: the reproductive organs of baseball's winningest pitcher
crying: OK I give up. What the hell language is this, Tagalog? Give me a break!
Bugatepi: the "B" side of the Tokens hit "The Lion Sleeps Tonight"
Skedro - Where Spiccoli ended up.
H Johnson
Mingspin - How ancient publicists got everybody to dig those stupid vases,
H Johnson
Depeas - what our two year old does to any plate containing the vile green vegatable.
H Johnson
hydreo -
The long awaited merger of Oreo and Hydrox brand cookies. They'll be just like regular Oreos and Hydroxes in that you eat maybe three of them and forget about them until that good and stale.
somsi -
Some don't.
butat -
Afghan Pornography, which is very similar to American pornography except for the whole hating Jews thing.
gnaval: The proper name for your gbelly gbutton.
confi- what an inmate is when relaxing in an easy chair
curagal- what every guy hopes to do to his woman after getting married
DOCKERMS
High school slang for boy's pants after watching the girls' cheerleading practice.
unringo: What the rest of the Beatles should have done with their drummer.
Or, What Ringo Starr wants his fans to do with their idol worship
outaxion: The last dollar you owe the IRS.
messess: A quick summary of the current Bush Administration.
freminsc: Where one goes to sign a truce between frenemies.
vishy: What Colonel Klink thought things around the camp were
Vises: an extreme anti-Emacs sect.
Rebay: What you should ask for after watching a Michael Bay movie. For instance, "That movie sucked, I hope the movie theater rebays me for watching that garbage".
P.S. Good luck everyone.
malaw: justice handed out by mothers south of the Mason-Dixon line
thicars: a pair of trousers that make your bottom appear larger than it actually is.
US translation: pants that make your fanny look big.
querval (adj.): Surprisingly attracted to someone of the same sex but in no way gay.
morthas (n.): What homies in North-East England call Muthas.
resspo (n.): the independent contractor to do all the government's repossessions.
supresse (n.): The independent contractor to do all the government's cover-ups. (Yes, I know).
abilmbo (n.): traditional exclamation at limbo dancing failure.
bessru - alien race which considers Joe Besser their god
OFFEILIS
Latin term for the prick civil servant whose manner connotes not only that he's better than you, but one of the perks of the job is to screw with you and waste your time.
PRODDI
The death of children in the manufacture of ridiculously high-priced shoes--not really over-priced considering the high cost of skinning third world children.
morsenad: .- -. -..
ZANDIST
Follower of Zan, the first comedy writer. The talkies crucified him. His legend rose again when television briefly got funny again thanks to All in the Family and Maude.
New disciples arise in each decade but are killed off by TV execs who think people like reality more than laughter. And why have jokes (and Boston Legal) when you've got a hot crimefighting drama starring Gary Coleman and that kid from Webster?
WEEDUAI
Injury sustained playing on the Wii that results in a permanent divot in a household member's cheek.
Difiebr: De thing your breakfast cereal's made out of dat keeps you regular.
fumphr: the sound made by the instrument of the little drummer boy with a cleft palate.
problar: a type of body armor that will probably stop bullets.
tornness (n): the state of being able to strike Norman Mailer in the head with a hammer.
extern: an outgoing intern.
storio: a really hip tale, man.
catel: a feline blabbermouth.
rewook: doing some badly-needed editing.
sesserso: a word that causes Sylvester Pussycat to expell a quart of spit.
viter: Brooklynese for "Did you invite her?"
sahol: Nickname Gunga Din had for the British, a blend of Sahib Asshole.
refef- a referee who is seeing double
raphysac:
a large bag designed for the disposal of annoying child entertainers.
COUSHION
Russian Casting Director slang for whoever's under you on the casting coush.
Undstes
Farsi for any undergarment worn about the loins equipped with alligator clips. It's what makes terrorists so consistently pissed off.
NEGLOS
A flower arrangment featuring bamboo.
Also, the source of the misunderstanding that led Samuel L. Jackson to beat the snot out of his Japanese gardener.
Trula
True Love that last six and one-half minutes.
SAUKERSE
A German dish featuring cabbage, sausages and the tears of generations.
What? Too soon?
Riester
A post-modernist rooster. It still crows at dawn, but, you know, like ironically.
INGEIN
A wrinkly ingenue.
ICHCROM
The best new tech company to invest in! They're developing sexbots so realistic they throw all your stuff on the front lawn when you upgrade to a new model. Best of all, the machines are environmentally friendly. They run on semen, tears and the stench of failure.
HESAC
Tarzan's scrotum.
(and very apparent if you watch those old movies)
PROCK
Half prick, half jock. He's big so instead of a physical confrontation you have to pretend to be his friend and then slowly destroy his self-esteem until he's suicidal.
Of course, that makes you a little prick.
SADJOLS (pronounced Sad Jowls, but with a drunken slur)
What the brilliant Orson Welles called himself later on in his career (from his Love Boat appearance until his merciful death.)
pulonsta: Gangsta rapper with excessive onanistic tendencies.
redimons: whipped cream for the boudoir...
Had to make it to 800!
Slubrugg:
n. Any piece of carpet contaminated or stained by a splotch of semen; commonly found in hotel rooms.
slubruggaphobia is the fear of slubruggs.
slubruggrat is a child raised in this hideous environment.
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