Here they are, the five finalists. The judge said it was verrrry hard narrowing them down and a good fifteen others just missed the cut. Congratulations to those who were nominated. My sincere thanks to everyone for playing. If you were nominated, please email me directly so I can get your contract information.
Now comes the voting. It's up to you Ameria...and the world. Simply leave a comment voting for A, B, C, D, E. This is the only time I'll accept anonymous comments. And please just confine your comments to voting. I don't need any "these all suck, mine was so much better" posts. Remember, this is all in the spirit of fun.
So now, here they are.
DANNY HAD SUCH A FEAR OF COMMITMENT THAT HE...
A... shouts his own name during sex.
B...told his mother he "Wanted to see other moms."
C...listed his actual salary on match.com.
D...was fired from the video store for stocking "Four Weddings and a Funeral" under "horror".
E...that he only dated Iraqi female suicide bombers.
The polls are open! Voting ends at 11:59 PM PDT on Tuesday night April 22. One vote per comment. Again, many thanks to all who participating. Remember, the prize is spectacular (a signed AfterMASH script) so take great care in your voting.
Addendum: Very interesting reaction to E. Most people think it's in poor taste. And a few have voted for it. It certainly is not politically correct. On the other hand, comedy is sometime very subversive, risky, and even offensive. So in a strange way I'm glad that E. is there. You don't have to vote for it (and clearly many of you are not) but I like that there's a wide range of styles and tones. If I had received 600 variations of the same line it wouldn't be any fun. This might be a great topic for debate in a later post.
Friday, April 18, 2008
KOMEDY KONTEST FINALISTS -- VOTE NOW
284 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 1 – 200 of 284 Newer› Newest»D
Gee, can I be a sour loser and vote for none of the above?
Oh, lord, how to choose...
A would likely be the winner in any other grouping.
B. is just flat laugh-out-loud funny.
C. has all sorts of great sub-textual social tangents.
But D.
D. is not just laugh-out-loud funny like B., has all the great sub-textual social tangents of C., but also succeeds in specifically skewering not just the movie that made Hugh Grant, well, "Hugh Grant", but also the movie that arguably revitalized the whole rom-com field (which I personally like, heck, I even like Hugh, but ya gotta give the nod where the nod is due).
D.
B. (narrowly edging out C)
D...was fired from the video store for stocking "Four Weddings and a Funeral" under "horror".
E!
So beautifully wrong.
D
B. B. He's our man, if he can't win it, nobody can!
And I'm not just voting for B because I wrote it.
Oh wait. I am too.
My thanks to the judge. Your rubber check is in the mail.
I guess that answers my question as to who the judge was...
Sorry Tim Conway, now I have to kill you.
D
B
cleverly uses one of the few cliche's attached to the subject, which makes it flow and still manages to surprise. D would never work before an audience, except if said by a character which makes movie references all the time.
B. It's laugh out loud funny.
Definitely between B and D. I thought A was humourous, but a little too obvious. I'm going to say.....uhhh....
D
For now...
I think I have to go with D. B would be a strong second choice.
Ken, once the voting is over, would you mind posting the 15 semi-finalists? Just curious and in need of some ego-salve.
B darling, and not just because I've always been thought of as a B Girl, and made many B movies.
I will post the other finalists at a later date. That's a good idea. Thanks.
B.
D
B!
(first time poster, long time reader)
D
B
C
C
B made me laugh best.
B? D? Pfft.
ME!
D.
And while I'm anonymous, click here to find out about what's infecting your compu...oops.
B.
Five fine finalists, but but the Anti-Oedipal B gets my vote.
D.
Good fun, look forward to more competitions.
Kirk
I vote B.
B. I guess...
I fail to see what's 'fun' about Iraqui suicide bombers, female or otherwise, so I won't be voting.
D
My #2 pencil, narrowed it down to C and Nader. Either would extend the streak of never voting for anything that actually wins, but C was the most pleasingly cynical and synaptical (seemed to take me one more neuron semi-firing to appreciate, no matter how many times I went back to it).
D
Liked A but I'm voting for B.
D
Without a doubt. I love it.
Will you be doing an American Idol-style showcase of the really awful ones so we may point and laugh?
B.
D
Four out of five fine choices, but I'm voting B.
B.
B. And I'm glad the judge hates you.
Wow E is probably de worst joke i´ve ever seen. What is funny about Iraqi female suicide bombers??? You just deserve better, I won´t vote after such lack of respect, i´d hope you take it away...
B
Put me down for B too.
b
Sorry, I can't pick one...
D
A suicide bomber joke? That's disgusting. I take it the judge wasn't a Muslim.
I vote for B. C & D also had wit and are good lines. But B was the one that made me laugh spontaneously.
E
I've always been ... whatever the the opposite of bellwether is. My favourite (named his cat "We'll see how it goes") didn't make the finals and of the five my vote:
A
is lagging badly.
A -- short, hits the mark, read it twice and laughed both times.
D
B.
B
D
D
E
C
B
Definitely B. D doesn't work all that well for me, because despite all the weddings it's basically a movie about fear of commitment. And although I generally enjoy jokes that make pop culture references, this one is just too dated; it falls flat.
I agree with the person who said that B works because it takes a cliché and gives it a fresh new spin. It made me laugh.
I'm gonna go with A here.
e
OMG! Definitely A
B
I just don't get two of them.
D
D... Congrats.
B
B obviously!
B
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB!
C
D
B
and I recommend poll daddy for voting widgets to out inside your posts. polldaddy.com
B
B. Because it was the only one that made me lol (although the others were funny too). And that's what matters, right? The LOL.
It's all about the almighty LOL. :)
C
... as in can't believe mine wasn't picked.
B
C. The double-edged joke edges it ahead of B.
On further review (sobering up) I vote for D.
D
B's a fastball that blows you away - but C's a big 12-to-6 curve that freezes you at the plate. So I say C - and I have a jump on the "best baseball metaphor" contest.
C. The least worst.
F. Well they weren't Ken jokes and they weren't Ken's choice, but if he made a crack about suicide bombers on his radio spot he'd be canned in a second.
B!
B ... and thanks for agreeing to list the other contenders in a future post!
D
B
Definitely "b" -- I laughed out loud!
I vote for 'B'. Good luck!
I'm having a really hard time choosing between C and D due to their INCREDIBLE sub-textual social tangents (why have I never seen that used as a pull quote?) and E b/c Iraqi suicide bombers are inherently hilarious and I love that some people are offended.
So I'll choose B.
E
b
B - in keeping with the classic style of the genre. Or 'klassic' style.
But kudos to E for pushing the envelope.
Now I sound like a network wonk giving notes. Someone shoot me.
I liked 'D' a lot, but I have to go with 'C'. There's a story in that.
My vote's for: C
A
"D," far and away (as Ron Howard might have put it).
Of course, the problem with anonymous posts (as I'm sure has been noted already) is that people can vote for themselves (or anybody else) as many times as they like.
It should still be "D." And I'm the real "Anonymous."
B.
Incidentally, the "suicide bomber" line would have been just as funny and more elegant without the "Iraqui. Or the "female," which sounds more written than spoken.
"...that the only women he'd date were suicide bombers."
vfljafe
C
C
C.
(P.S. I realize now that my comment above may be inappropriate for this thread -- feel free to delete it.)
B
C.
So brief, and yet evokes whole layers of meaning.
D
A tie between A and B, but since A's the underdog I'm going with: A
E
B
I think B & D are head and shoulders above the rest... I choose B.
Either I'm going to idiotically post multiple, or I can't get this damn thing to work. Let's try again...
E
C is current and original. As far as the others, I'm sure Jay Leno would love them
B
Who are all these people offended at E? I can understand if they are soldiers or relatives of bombing victims but I hope they are not getting offended on behalf of suicide bombers, because honestly, if ever the target of a joke deserved sympathy it is not suicide bombers.
To suggest that Muslims would be automatically offended by a reference to suicide bombers assumes more of a correlation between Islam and suicide bombing than does the original joke, and is therefore even more offensive.
That said, E is not super funny beyond its edginess and would be much better with Anonymous' punch-up suggestions above.
B is the best hard joke here but I cast my vote for C because I like how the joke is in the subtext.
E
Letter B
D.
It's hard to judge the "funniest" because you have to ask in what context? Being that Ken's site attracts comedy/sitcom writers and people who enjoy this type of comedy, I'd say D could best be used in a sitcom situation. Perhaps other choices would be funnier in a comedy club context, but for sitcoms I'd say D.
A
and I agree with Kenny - now you think jokes about suicide bombers are politically incorrect and offensive? Give me a break! What part about suicide bombing is a rational and acceptable life choice that there should be a moratorium on jokes about them? How about all you offended suicide bombers get together and form a coalition to protest the ridicule of your public image - I'm sure your association will have a high turnover...
Half-time score:
A - 7
B - 48
C - 16
D - 28
E - 8
(I can't believe I counted them. I have to get a life.)
B
Over 450 entries were posted. Well over 1000 punchlines submitted, and it all comes down to this. This is American Punchline.
[THE 5 PUNCHLINES ALL COME ON AND PERFORM “SLOWLY I TURNED”, ALTHOUGH “E” IS TOO JADED TO MORE THAN GO THROUGH THE MOTIONS AND LIP-SYNCH.]
All right, may I have the punchlines join me on the stage please.
A, you said Danny had such a fear of commitment that he “shouts his own name during sex.”
Randy said, “Dawg, you’re getting busy!”
Paula said, “You are who you are, you announce who you are. I love you.”
Simon said, “I don’t get it. I always shout my own name during sex. Besides, you’re not a joke about fear of commitment, You’re about narcissism.”
America voted. A, you’re going home.
C, you said Danny had such a fear of commitment that he “Listed his actual salary on Match.com.”
Randy said, “Dude, I don’t get it. Don’t give me jokes I have to think to understand.
Paula said, “C, you’re a star. That could be a joke in a movie, like the Bratz movie. I applaud you.”
Simon said, “It was just too cabaret for me.”
America voted. C, you’re going home.
E, you said Danny had such a fear of commitment that he “that he only dated Iraqi female suicide bombers.”
Randy said, “Dude, that’s pretty harsh man. But I dug it. You’re edgy.”
Paula said, “I don’t know what ‘Iraqi’ means.”
Simon said, “I don’t get it. Most of the women I’ve slept with went on to become suicide bombers, and they weren’t even Iraqi.”
America voted, you’re going home.
That leaves just D and B. Who will get the vote? We’ll find out in just a minute. But first, special guest stars Dolly Parton and Mariah Carey will duet, singing Andrew Lloyd Webber’s “all I Ask of You.”
[DUET IS PERFORMED.]
All right, B and D, please stand here on either side of me.
B, you said Danny had such a fear of commitment that he “told his mother he ‘wanted to see other Moms.”
Randy said, “Dude, you are the bomb, dawg.”
Paula said nothing, just cried, thinking about her mother, and getting fired from the Bratz movie.
Simon said, “I fired my mother. She was too kareoke.”
D. you said Danny had such a fear of commitment that he “was fired from the video store for stocking ‘Four Weddings and a Funeral’ under ‘Horror’.”
Randy said, “I just wasn’t feeling it, Dawg. Why is he stocking Weddings and funerals in a video store?”
Paula said, “You’re a star. It doesn’t matter what we say. The fans love you.”
Simon said, “Video stores? What is this, the 20th Century? Too dated. Too last century.”
America voted and — we’ll have the results right after this.
[MUSIC VIDEO OF THE 5 PUNCHLINES AND DANNY UNABLE TO DECIDE WHICH OF FORD’S FINE CARS TO BUY, SO THEY BUY THE LOT.]
All right. We’re back. Judges, did America get it right?
Randy: “Wow Dawg. They’re all great. This is when it gets hard.
Paula: “It’s hard? Show me. Randy!”
Simon: “America hasn’t gotten anything right since 1776.”
All right, B and D, the results are — going to be told to you after this message.
[COMMERCIALS]
All right, B, D, America voted, and the vote for this incredibly long, padded comment is —
B!
Congrtulations B, and as the credits roll, let’s look back at your long journey.
I vote B.
a
C
B
B. B is hilarious. (I didn't write it. But it's excellent.)
To vote B or not to vote B, that is the quetion. Hamlet also had a fear of committing himself to an action. But before this runs to 5 acts (Like the long-winded Seachrest monologue above) I will commit...
...to voting for B!
But great entires all. Congrats to all 5 finalists. Given how many entries there were (almost half of which were NOT psychotic) it actually is an honor just to be nominated.
Of the five, I'll cast my vote for B.
It sounds like something Stewie would say on Family Guy.
D
D
In memory of my mom, I'm voting for B.
I have to go with E.