Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Rats jumping sinking ships for other sinking ships

The big industry story at the moment is the insane musical chairs going on between agents and big name agencies. Now that there are so few that it’s hard to merge, the next best thing is to poach each other.

So game on! It’s like Hollywood’s version of “Sadie Hawkins Day”.

Particularly vulnerable is UTA. Rumors abound that their star agents are defecting to other tenpercentaries. Other rumors say that no one is leaving. Anyone who believes those rumors also believes that David Spade can still open a movie.

So if you’re sending a script to an agent this week better play it safe. Make five copies and send it to him at CAA, William Morris, Endeavor, ICM, and UTA. And just for good measure, make five more and send them to CBS, NBC, Fox, HBO, and the New England Patriots (one reliable source says a UTA agent has been traded to the Pats for their third pick in today’s draft).

What this all means is this: Now when I call my agency not only will they not who I am, they won’t know who my agent is either.

I love this town!

Winner of the Komedy Kontest and my AMERICAN IDOL recap follows late tonight.

8 comments:

Bill said...

"Anyone who believes those rumors also believes that David Spade can still open a movie."

Still? Could he ever?

A. Buck Short said...

Tell me about it. Here in big D for 10 years all our banks had digital signs giving you the correct time, the correct temperature, and that day's name of the bank. And it's only let up a little. I especially like it when the bank owns a 40 story building they have to change the name of. Do they just have to fill out one postcard for the P.O. for everybody? Sorry, that's the best I got on short notice.

Annie said...

Is he scratching that contract with his middle finger? Is that intentional? Is he making a statement about UTA? Hmmmm...

Anonymous said...

ALL agents are scum. They live off the creative work of others, frequently screwing up their deals, consistently lying to their clients,and unfairly deciding who is "worthy" of their representation. If there is a more useless, dishonest, mean-spirited type of person in show business... (and studio and network execs are a VERY close second)...then I would like to meet them. And lest anyone think I'm one of those bitter types who does not have an agent, you are wrong. I have to use them, not unlike toilet paper. It's just that I when I flush my used toilet paper, I'm actually sorry to see THAT go.

Foley said...

"If there is a more useless, dishonest, mean-spirited type of person in show business... (and studio and network execs are a VERY close second)...then I would like to meet them."

Why would you like to do that? They sound like someone to avoid...

Andrew

Anonymous said...

I've got the skinny on some CAA agents. Any takers? I may or may not be a disgruntled former assistant. I've got tid-bits, crumbs and just plain poop. Everybody likes to dish a bit, oui?

Bitter Animator said...

I don't know any agents and don't have one (lousy pieces of crap and their poxy stock rejection letters - I'll give you stock letters, ya hear me?!) but I like dirt in general so, yes, dishing it would be fun.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like a fear of commitment to me.