Sunday, February 25, 2007

Antonella for president and other stuff...

My 10th annual bitchy Oscar review will appear shortly following the ceremony. Or during the ceremony if you live in Hawaii where they tape delay it. Ever since their AMERICAN IDOL contestant Jasmine was booted off a few years ago it’s like they just stopped caring about what happens on the mainland.

Jasmine could have won. Antonella Barba knows the secret. Keep reading.

Spring training games begin this week! Leave it to Kerry Wood to be the first player to bruise his chest in a hot tub accident.

What felt longer, the baseball offseason or the time it took to bury James Brown?

Britney Spears is looking for a drive-by rehab center should you know of any.

If you like 60’s music you MUST check out RichBroRadio.com Unlike oldies stations that play the same six records over and over until you crack and name names to the Germans, this station has a deep playlist brimming with great variety and forgotten treasures. Return to a time when we were hiding the pot from our parents.

DANCIN’ WITH THE STARS should be renamed DANCIN’ WITH THE MOST PATHETIC LOSERS WHO WILL DO ANYTHING FOR NOTARIETY. Clyde Drexler? Clyde the Glide? That breaks my heart. And golddigger supreme, Heather Mills? Let the “stump casting” jokes begin! All that’s missing is Melissa Rivers.

There will be a GREY’S ANATOMY spinoff centering on Dr. Addison (Kate Walsh). Tentative title: GREY’S ANATOMY SVU MIAMI. Although I say don’t get fancy. Just call it FRASIER.

Ray Liotta slammed his Cadillac Escalade into two parked cars last Saturday night in Pacific Palisades. Liotta is the honorary mayor of Pacific Palisades and there is now concern this DUI will hamper all of the honorary programs his administration hopes to institute.

Okay, AMERICAN IDOL contestant Antonella Barba can’t sing worth shit but now that pictures of her are circulating the net showing her topless and perfecting her "mic technique" on some lucky guy (which is probably why her throat is a little scratchy). I think she’s a lock for finishing in the top two. Simon always advises that contestants need to “stand out”.

See you after the Hollywood love fest.

10 comments:

Mike Barer said...

Yes, I am not crazy about Heather "you really don't need a pre-nupt dear I'm with you forever" Mills.

Dwacon said...

Maybe one day I'll start watching that show.

Nah...

Willy B. Good said...

According to Ted Williams Head the baseball off season felt infinitely longer as believe it or not he wasn't even aware that James Brown was dead.

The Master said...

I had just seen the Antonello pictures, apparently posted online by a disgruntled ex-boyfriend (Classy guy), before hitting your website. Now we know how she got into the Top 24, as it certainly wasn't her lousy singing, particularly considering how many of theose girls, like Lakisha Jones and Melinda Doolittle, can sing their brains out.

Of course, if the guy in the mike technique pictures is Simon Cowell --- Ladies & Gentlemen, your next American Idol.

John said...

You know people would come running to their TVs from miles arond if they adopted a "Riverdance" format when Heather got her turn on the floor (figuratively and eventually literally, in this case).

Real party girls like Antonello always seem to have that scratchy throat syndrome from staying up too long and putting too much stuff down the throat and into the sinus cavity. Which makes me wonder how Rita Cosby gets all her exclusive interviews.

Also, judging from the latest photos of her and the bumbershoot attack on the SUV, Brittany is starting to look and act more and more like Bobby Hill on a sugar binge. Hank needs to do something about that girl...

Mike Barer said...

I promoed your upcomming Oscar Report on my blog.

Rory L. Aronsky said...

Bring on the fun! Bring on the fun!

Seriously, I need something to offset the freelance newsletter work I'm doing right now.

tb said...

A caller on KROQ cracked that the first song Heather Mills will be dancing to will be "Come on Eileen"

Anonymous said...

I know I will burn like Heather's leg if there is a hell (jury's still out on that debate), but I laughed when I heard she wanted to dance on a tv show. Esp. after watching that shitty Sir Paul vid he did years ago where she was featured disco dancing to the song (and not even in a club or a crowd - no, she was all alone, against a green screen where the worst acid trip was superimposed over it later in the edit suite.) That video is burned into my brain. I can't help but laugh every time I think about it. And now she wants to do the cha-cha and be flung thru the air while trying to hold on to a skimpy stripper outfit AND her leg?? I'm down for that. Bring it on!! *ROFL*

Stacey

Mike Barer said...

My advise to Heather Mills: "Break A Leg!"