Saturday, February 24, 2007

Best actor & actress

Your faithful Oscar tout now weighs in with who will win Best Actor & Actress.

BEST ACTOR:

WILL SMITH

Why he’ll win – Pity. The guy is practically begging for the award. If this doesn’t work next year expect him to put on a wig and take whatever part Meryl Streep turns down.

Why he’ll lose – If he was so great an actor he could at least “act” like he wasn’t an Oscar grubber.

RYAN GOSLING

Why he’ll win – He’s pulled the child of every Oscar voter out of a burning building.

Why he’ll lose – To be nominated for a movie no one saw truly is an honor. And I think he knows and appreciates that. Unlike Will Smith, I don’t think he’ll dissolve into tears when he loses.

LEONARDO DICAPRIO

Why he’ll win – He consistently turns in great performances. He has the blessing of the twin Godfathers of Hollywood – Spielberg and Scorsese.

Why he’ll lose – People still think of him as a semi-regular on GROWING PAINS.

FOREST WHITAKER

Why he’ll win – An amazing performance and it’s time this under-appreciated fine actor finally gets his due.

Why he’ll lose – The Academy is afraid if he wins Will Smith will kill himself.

PETER O’TOOLE

Why he’ll win – Overdue. Makes funny speeches. Looks 80 but is only 37.

Why he’ll lose – A very large “ick” factor in the character he played in VENUS.

BEST ACTRESS:

MERYL STREEP

Why she’ll win – She always wins.

Why she’ll lose – Helen Mirren. And there’s always the next 26 times.

HELEN MIRREN

Why she’ll win – She gave the performance of the year. And showed incredible courage by making herself actually LOOK like Queen Elizabeth. She did everything but sing “And I’m telling you…I’m not going.”

Why she’ll lose – It’s revealed she’s really the leader of Al Queda. Otherwise, she’s a lock.

PENELOPE CRUZ

Why she’ll win – The voters are all teenage boys.

Why she’ll lose – Helen Mirren. Meryl Streep. Judi Dench. Kate Winslet.

JUDI DENCH

Why she’ll win – Best performance of her already Oscar recognized career. Best crazed stalker since Kathy Bates in MISERY, and that’s what all actors strive for.

Why she’ll lose – Helen Mirren. Some voters may be put off by her stalking. Maybe if she stalked Peter O’Toole both would win.

KATE WINSLET

Why she’ll win – Enough voters will say, “Jesus, if Kim Basinger has one, Kate Winslet certainly deserves one.”

Why she’ll lose – Helen Mirren. And she’ll eventually win for a lesser role but it will be a make-good for this one. Y’know, like Paul Newman finally won for the COLOR OF MONEY for Godsakes.

My yearly Oscar review follow shortly after the ceremony unless I fall asleep during it.

9 comments:

ahomer said...

Actor:
Will is groveling, Denzel never did that. Jada is even agreeing to appear out of her "rawk n roll" find-myself world, and back in formal attire, dresses and all.

Ryan Who?

Leonardo diSameoldcharacter each time. It depends on if Scorcese gets it. No one thinks Departed deserves both those (symbolic) oscar gifts.

Forest Whitaker - YES PLEASE - but the problem is, he makes AWFUL acceptance speeches, freaked everyone out at the globes.

Peter O'Toole - What is it about lifetime achievement award you don't understand?

Actress:
Streep for that liteweight movie? Seriously.

Helen Mirren - she IS good, movie is good.

Dench - No, because she says she is in the hospital, and Oscar wants people on hand. That should be clear to everyone.

Cruz - She's young still. She was with Tom Cruise, it disqualifies her for a period. And Selma Hayek would kill herself.

Winslet - her time is coming. She knows that. It could be now, it could be later.

Will Teullive said...

Other than some of the nominees and studio execs, you are the straightest man to care so much about the Oscars.

If you report Toni Collette wore Vera Wang for Sunday night’s post, I’m headed straight for the monster truck blog :-)

Lopes da Silva said...

Off topic: Mr Levine you should search in youtube for "Gato Fedorento" (Smelly Cat in English)a comedy troupe very original and not like anything seen in american comedy, if you know spanish you will understand what they say

Paul Duca said...

Only somewhat off-topic...since Ken also has interest in any news related to Mary Tyler Moore:

The Victorian residence in Minneapolis where Mary Richards, Rhoda Morgenstern and Phyllis Lindstrom supposedly resided is up for sale--a 10,000 square foot mansion, with its original charm and features fully restored, along with things like an updated kitchen/family room addition( (tucked away in back, so as not to affect the classic establishing shot vista)

Price--$3.6 million


You can find out more at www.startribune.com/homes (you will have to sign up for a 7-day membership with the site in order to access the article)

zazupitts said...

Mary's mansion in Minny? That'd be Ken's "Bates Motel," if his Mary experiences haunt the place. Yikes!

benson said...

Okay, gang, since we're going slightly off topic....

Saw my first ep of "30 Rock" on Thursday. Very funny. I wish I'd picked up on it from the beginning. This show appears to be a real gem.

Back on topic.....

I just hope Ellen is funny. Not that I don't think she will be, but that's what Oscar night has been the past decade or so. Tune in for Billy Crystal's opening and monologue, wait for the first supporting actor award, then find something good to watch until checking in around the end. And if I'm lucky to surf over at the right time, I check in for the obituary segment. For a casual follower like me, the rest is dull.

Dwacon said...

I'd vote for Leo... despite the fact that he is dating our dream girl from Israel! Oh well... Baruch H'Shem...

Mike Barer said...

He's dating Natalie Portman? How about that child with Clint Eastwood?

Tom Quigley said...

Peter O'Toole looks "only" 37? Ken, you need a TV with a bigger screen. Peter O'Toole could pass for a corpse on CSI without the need for any additional makeup. At this point, he should be calling himself Digger O'Dell....